Zac Goldsmith doesn’t know a thing about the Central Line

Or where QPR play

Zac Goldsmith’s mayoral campaign has been an awkward, low key, shuffling disaster so far. He trails his rival Sadiq Khan in every poll and major interviews make him seem, well, a little weird. Today the softly spoken multi-millionaire endured the further indignity of a kitschy interview conducted in the back of a traditional London black cab.

Asked by the BBC’s Norman Smith about football, a subject that the clearly uncomfortable Goldsmith knows absolutely fuck all about, he made this face:

Zac Goldsmith thinking about football

Zac Goldsmith thinking about football

Goldsmith had been asked which team plays at Loftus Road. Looking distressed, he said: “I don’t know…What’s the answer?”

But it would only get worse when Smith asked him a basic question about the Central Line. Having told the BBC man that he used the tube “often”, Goldsmith was asked to identify the next station in the sequence Bond Street, Oxford Circus, Tottenham Court Road…

A flustered Zac responded: “I’m going to stop you there because most people have a route, I have two routes … I want to answer this one, most people have a route or two routes and they become like an extension of the body and you use those routes, not for ethical reasons, but because it is the only way to get around London without being late for meetings.”

Tfw you're trying to work out what a Central Line is

Tfw you’re trying to work out what a Central Line is

Bizarrely, the one thing about London that our probably-not-Mayor-to-be did know was who the first landlord of Eastenders’ fictional Queen Vic pub was.

Smith wasn’t done with Goldsmith, however, and pressed him to name the location of the Museum of London.

“The Museum of London is … where is the Museum of London … the Museum of London,” Goldsmith began. “I went there very, very recently … I can’t tell you where.”

“It’s by the Barbican,” Smith replied.

“Absolutely, in the City of London,” Goldsmith said, saying the words “in the City of London” as if he had no idea what the City of London is.

Smith had posed similar questions to Sadiq Khan on Monday. Much to the relief of everyone involved in his campaign, Khan was able to say that Crystal Palace play at Selhurst Park.