Sir David Attenborough is running for Mayor of London
He wants to ‘make every bridge a garden bridge’
Naturalist and national treasure Sir David Attenborough has announced his plans to run for Mayor of London.
Sir David declared his intentions to a press conference at the Natural History Museum last night, receiving a standing ovation from assembled supporters.
He said he will be running as an independent candidate, telling the audience: “My main aim is to be more green than the Green Party.”
Among the policies Sir David wants to implement, the most ambitious is his plan to turn all London bridges into “garden bridges”.
He said: “I saw the plans for Thomas Heatherwick’s Garden Bridge, and I just thought to myself there was so much more we could do.
“By turning all the London bridges into garden bridges, we can solve so many problems: we can combat air pollution, we can bring London children closer to nature, and we can provide safe passage across the Thames for the city’s numerous breeds of foxes and deer.
“Speaking to fellow Londoners, it’s obviously something they care about – so why wouldn’t I?”
Sir David’s proposed policies also include plans to set up a London-wide landlord licensing scheme, an increase in the proportion of TfL’s budget spent on cycling, and a strategy to reintroduce London’s native white-tailed eagles – most of which were driven out of the city during the Industrial Revolution.
He explained: “The benefits are twofold: not only are we giving these elegant creatures back their home, but they’re also very nifty with rats.”
Sir David’s announcement was delivered to rapturous applause, and press and audience members were given the opportunity to quiz Attenborough on his mayoral plans.
When asked about current mayor Boris Johnson, however, Sir David was left red-faced – when he admitted to amused pundits that he’d never actually heard of him.
South of the river, fellow candidate Zac Goldsmith was quick to scoff at Attenborough’s plans, telling Sky News: “It’s obvious he’s just using his television influence to try and turn this whole thing into a media circus.
“He’s not a serious candidate like me – I’m offering an action plan for a greater London, not bridges and flowers and eagles.”
But political journalist April O’Neill was much more celebratory, taking to Twitter to say: “Next to Goldsmith and Khan, David is a no-brainer – anyone who doesn’t vote for him is a fool.”