Secrets no-one tells you about living in an all girls’ house

Forget baking cupcakes and the unspoken rule about everything in the kitchen being from Cath Kidston, there’s a whole hidden side to living in an all girls’ house no one ever tells you about. Far deeper than borrowing each other’s clothes or gossiping over breakfast, this is the inside story on everything that goes down in your oestrogen powered home.

You spoon ALL THE TIME

When you’re hungover, when you’re sad, when you’re watching Netflix, when you’re bored, when you’re happy, when you’ve had a tough day at work, when you don’t want to sleep in your bed alone, when you get in from a night out. No occasion is off-limits for a spoon.

You’ll lose track of the amount of times you argue about who needs to pull hair out of the shower

Expect pass agg messages down the group WhatsApp about cleaning the plug after you’ve washed your hair. You’ll also hate the girl who puts her hair on the shower wall, then forgets to bin it after. Who would do that?

There’s always washing hanging out to dry

You’ll keep taking someone’s clothes accidentally until your wardrobe is a mish-mash of everyone else’s pants, socks, tights and black vests. You’ll never find out who’s taken what by mistake, so you’ll just agree to live communally. It’s also a great time to eye up which top you’re going to borrow off Katie next week.

You’re all pretty comfortable walking around in your underwear

Don’t be alarmed if someone walks into your room without knocking to find you doing your make-up in your undies. Embrace it. Give it a month and you’ll be sat chatting on one of the girls’ beds, one in a towel fresh out the shower, someone in their pjs, and you in your granny pants and comfy bra. Underwear chats are very important for bonding, and it’s just part and parcel of living in a girly house.

There’s not a single fake tan free-towel in the house

You’ll move in and your towels will be lovely and fluffy and fresh and stain-free. Several nights out later and not one is without a fake tan mark, nail polish stain, blood from when you cut your leg shaving, hair dye or any other product you’ve used ever. Hints: don’t buy white towels, and accept the fate of your towels. It’s just a sign of what a great time you’re all having.

Your periods do actually end up being in sync

They say when a group of girls live together your periods all sync up, and it really does happen. When you do finally reach the magic point of synchronisation after a couple of months spent announcing when you’ve come on, you’ll use it as an excuse to curl up on the sofa in your onesies and work your way through a family size bar of Galaxy (as if that’s any different to a normal Friday night).

If one of you is on a diet, you’re all on a diet

It’s six weeks until your girls’ holiday, and it’s time to get summer ready. Out goes the choccie and in comes a fridge stuffed with kale, a cupboard stocked with quinoa and strict house trips to the gym. Woe betide she who bakes cupcakes or orders pizza during this very serious period. You’ve got to stick together.

But come a week later, you’re all eating Maltesers in front of the TV

Yeah, so life is too short to give up the one true pleasure in life: chocolate. And wine. And pizza.

Everything is communal

Once you’ve started wearing each other’s knickers, nothing is off limits. Toothbrushes, washing powder, make-up. It’s easy to justify £25 on a highlighter when there’s going to be four of you sharing it.

P.S. You end up having the best make-up bag and wardrobe ever.

Expect 99 questions if one of you pulls

Whether it’s celebrating the end of a dry spell or just wanting every last detail about the latest boy to sneak out at 8am, you’ll all be gathered on the sacred bed for a minute-by-minute account. The interrogation will ramp up a notch if it’s looking like this person could become a significant other, and will therefore need to be approved by all housemates in advance.

Oh, and everyone will definitely hear you having sex

And it’s really, really funny.

You’ll all disagree which group photo is the best

You can’t order an Uber without taking 20 million photos before you leave, but don’t you dare upload any of them without prior approval from the other girls. Jenny’s fringe will have parted weird, but Sophie’s leg looks a bit pale in the other one and Laura’s got her eyes closed in that last one. Right, let’s just take another one.

You can be pretty lazy with the dishes too

Forget whoever said girls are anally clean and tidy, for they are not. Dishes will pile up – they might even go a bit mouldy – and you’ll have a stand-off which could last over a week because you’re all so stubborn and sassy. The same stand-off applies for whose turn it is to empty the bathroom bin, pull hair out of the shower plug and buy toilet roll. You won’t escape any of these menial house dramas by living exclusively with girls. It’s OK though, pretty sure Suzie-who-is-just-a-bit-too-tidy will have been driven crazy by the mess and have an absolute blitz. She’ll go on about it all week, but it’s worth it.

You have a favourite box set that you have to watch altogether

A house who watches Gossip Girl together, stays together. And don’t even think about watching an episode alone: it’s a tradition.

When two of you fall out, you all tip toe around each other for the rest of the day

The afternoon is spent hearing Lizzie moan about Jess to you and Jess moan to Hattie about Lizzie, then you and Hattie hiding until they’ve done all their bitching and screaming and have hugged it out. God, that was a tense three hours.

You all become incredibly close, and couldn’t imagine living without them

Through all the ups and downs, lost tights and smashed Naked palettes, you wouldn’t trade them for anything else in the world.