Stop calling blondes stupid

We’re actually the smartest hair colour


Blonde women assemble. Our day has come, comrades. Scientists have proved that ours is the most intelligent hair colour. The science has spoken and delivered fair-haired girls the comeback we’ve needed our entire lives.

A recent study compared the IQs of a group of women of various natural hair colours. And who’d have guessed it – blondes came out on top! But really. No one would have guessed it. Because everyone – everyone – calls blondes dumb.

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And now I wish I could go back and tell six-year old me to embrace her hair colour and not spend her days wishing she looked like Snow White. I suppose the cliché rings true that you always want what you don’t have. Having said that, maybe, just maybe, small Meg knew even then that she’d spend her life being called a dumb blonde.

If you type the adjective ‘dumb’ into Google, the word ‘blonde’ pops up as the first suggested word to accompany it. Like fish and chips or gin and tonic, these two words seem to just roll off the tongue. The phrase “dumb blonde” is now so deeply rooted in our society that we regularly use it without questioning it, or understanding how it came into existence.

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And sure, you might be laughing at the blonde jokes – but I’ve been the butt of them for a solid 20 years. If I spill a coffee, it’s because I’m blonde. If I giggle at a joke, I’m a ditsy blonde. If I’m tired and ask an obvious question, I’m having “a blonde moment.”  Oh, and if I’m wearing something pink, or sparkly, I am Barbie.

Of course, as basic biology indicates, a girl cannot be blonde and intelligent, serious and fun. I wonder if the Grammy-award winning multimillionaire and natural blonde, Taylor Swift, puts up with this shit.

Who decided blondes  were stupid? Who was the man or woman who sat down one day and said, “yes, this group of people is far less intelligent than others because of their light hair colour. We shall furthermore address them as the breed of the dumb blonde.”

The early 21st century Hollywood gals – Paris Hilton et al – did not help. That is unfair, because perhaps they are not stupid. On the other hand, they constructed their brand around vapidity. And this substantiated the myth that blondes are the pretty, fun ones with a gap where their brains are meant to sit. And sure, Legally Blonde came along and taught us all to smile in the face of blonde adversity but even then she did it clutching a copy of ELLE. That didn’t help either.

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But I’m not even going to attempt an anthropological explanation. I’m not sure I could handle such discourse anyway.

It’s just like politics, really. Like, I bet Hilary Clinton struggles to keep up with it all. Oh, and that blonde German woman (I think she’s in charge of Europe?) never seems to know what’s going on either. Then there’s that Teressa May woman with the funky shoe collection who is constantly banging on about the most dangerous woman in the UK? Nicola something who works in Scotland, I’m told she’s called?

All dumb blondes, the lot of them.