It’s always the fun people who drink vodka squash at pre-drinks

Long live disco water

There’s one very subtle difference between a good pre-drinks and a great pre-drinks. It’s not in the music; it’s not in the drinking games; it’s not in the ratio of males to females. It’s in the number of people drinking vodka squash.

Vodka squash, or “disco water” as it’s known by fans, is the least pretentious drink around. If you’re drinking this, you know what you want out of pres: a fucking good time. You’re not trying to make a complicated cocktail with very limited ingredients. There is no hassle about how many beers to buy. You just rock up with a bottle of squash (I’d recommend orange or blackcurrant), a bottle of vodka, and help yourself to tap water.

Winners have disco water

Winners have disco water

If you’re the mug not drinking disco water, you’ll inevitably spend the night watching, jealous, as the superior drinkers glug away, really enjoying what they’re drinking. Therein lies the beauty of it: balance the Glen’s with enough squash (double strength, naturally), and you’re enjoying a refreshing drink without any of the burning which comes with necking cheap voddy.

Turns out a bottle of Tesco’s own brand squash is all it takes to bring people together, and its effortlessness ensures the one wise enough to bring the goods along is the life and soul of the party. You can genuinely be happy to help someone out who runs out of mixer as well, as a bottle of orange delight is never going to break the bank. Run out of lemonade? Here, have some squash. It’s my pleasure.

The best bit, though? That’s not even where the effortlessness ends. How annoying is it when you’re hosting pres and some high maintenance girl comes over, fluttering her eyelashes, asking where the wine glasses are. Or the one who rocks up with a bottle of Prosecco on pay day and demands a flute? Vodka squash drinkers will never turn their nose up at a red plastic cup, or a mug, or a used glass, or anything else you’re serving drinks out of. They’ll just take it as it comes, because at the end of the day, they’re just here to have fun and get drunk.