Wireless Festival isn’t cool – so how come this year’s lineup is so good?

Kygo, BBK, Miguel and J. Cole are all due to top the bill in July


In the British festival world, Wireless is that guy that used to follow the cool kids around school, laughing at jokes which were actually aimed at him. So how come they’ve just released the best lineup of the summer?

Wireless promoters announced the 2016 line-up on Facebook this morning, leaving all of us a bit shocked with a lineup including Krept & Konan, Young Thug, Action Bronson and Kwabs, as well as big names like Calvin Harris and Chase & Status.

But how? Wireless isn’t cool, so what’s going on?

Wireless

Wireless is full of three kinds of people: white boys who like to shuffle and think Stormzy invented Grime, girls in Hunters and floral headbands (it’s a London festival – you do not need wellies), and the people who genuinely enjoy music and wish they were at Glastonbury.

You can’t even camp, and everyone who’s been to a proper festival knows most of the fun is the debauchery that goes down in the campsite. Wireless-goers just can’t hack that – they probably need to go home to their five-bed in the Home Counties every night to make sure their floral hairbands are still looking reem.

wireless 2

And yet, regardless of what your preconceptions about Wireless are, it’s almost impossible to deny that the organisers have really pulled it out of the bag this year with this line up.

Every day from start to finish seems to have something you’d want to see, so maybe – with the likes of Drake and Kanye popping in over the last few years – they’ve finally realised it’s time to change their mainstream image.

So kudos, Wireless – as of this morning, you’re officially Britain’s best shit festival.