America needs an honest, credible President. America needs Frank Underwood
He would actually make America great again
There’s no such a thing as a “normal” US Presidential election. From when Ulysses S Grant beat a corpse in 1872, to when more people liked and voted for losing candidate Al Gore in 2000, American politics has always existed in something of a madhouse.
Yet the 2016 race seems to have descended to new levels of mayhem. The Democratic front runner does dog impressions on the campaign trail while her rival wields his walking stick like it’s Gandalf’s staff, whipping up support among young people too stoned to make it to a polling booth.
And on the Republican side, a billionaire reality star leads the pack by saying literally every single cryptofascist thought that comes into his head, corpsing his way through debates as his fellow contenders wag their fingers at him for not actually being against abortion.
It’s a concerning time, that much is to be sure. A time when America needs stability, a level head to steer it through the storm on its journey to providence.
That head is in the Presidential race – and it rests atop the shoulders of Francis J Underwood.
I know what you’re thinking – and you’re right. There are several reasons not to vote for Frank Underwood: he’s abused executive powers more than any previous sitting President, he rarely comes out on top in foreign policy negotiations, he’s fictional, he sometimes kills people.
But put all that to one side for one second and ask yourself the following:
Who do I trust more with the world’s most advanced economy? Bernie Sanders or Frank Underwood?
Who do I trust more in general? Hillary Clinton or Frank Underwood?
Who have I heard of? John Kasich or Frank Underwood?
Who is more likable? Ted Cruz or Frank Underwood?
Who is less scripted? Marco Rubio or Frank Underwood?
Who is better to women and minorities, and reviles white supremacists, and has fewer skeletons in the closet? Donald Trump or Frank Underwood?
America needs a candidate with cross-party appeal and political experience, who can navigate the nest of adders that is Congress and win the hearts and minds of the nation through charm and authenticity. America needs Frank Underwood.
The fourth season of House of Cards returns to Netflix on March 4.