Emma Watson has a subscription to a website that teaches people about orgasms – so I checked it out

It’s called OMGYes

Emma Watson’s revolution continues apace.

In an interview this week, the actress and feminist spokeswoman told the legendary Gloria Steinem that she has paid £40 to subscribe to OMGYes.com, which has been reported as a “sex tips website”.

That’s a bit reductive: OMGYes is a new, US-based project into “female pleasure”. Those behind it conducted 1000 interviews with American women aged between 18 and 95, then worked with teams at Indiana University and The Kinsey Institute and asked another representative sample of 1000 more women. Apparently about 20,000 people have signed up, and gender-wise it’s roughly even.

“Definitely check it out,” Watson advised Steinem.

So I did. I’m a 25-year old girl who trusts Hermione Granger implicitly and has had some really boring sex. I was optimistic that this website might be for me.

Sure, it’s essentially a sex tips website – though its mission statement prefers “lifting the veil on women’s sexual pleasure”. It told me that “there are more ways to please than anyone had thought, and each one has delicious variations”. I was familiar with some of what they were chatting about and hadn’t heard of other ones. Examples include: edging (“bigger orgasm by approaching and denying”), rhythm (“a well-timed, almost musical loop”), layering (“indirect pleasure through surrounding skin”), and framing (“pleasure is mostly between the ears”).

I will leave it to you to guess which of them I might have been familiar with.

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However, the best bit is absolutely the site’s intro video, which explains the project in more detail. My favourite bit was when a naked woman, legs akimbo, bids a room of other girls: “welcome to my vagina. Her name is Hillary Clitton.” I’m not sure if that’s the right spelling of Clitton.

I also enjoyed the bit when they talk about this app they’ve been working on. They trussed it up, but it is basically an app that rewards you for learning how to finger yourself (or someone else) properly. There’s a vagina on the screen and you sort of brush your finger over its crevasses. Candy Crush, for fingering. Just imagine watching someone on the bus fingering a detailed image of a vagina on their iPhone. It would be both gripping and horrifying.

All in all, the vid is breathy, earnest, and possibly the least sexy thing I’ve ever seen.

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Now, I know this sort of thing is important. Traditionally, female sexuality has been something to fear, for women to be ashamed of. The repression of it fuels subjugation and sexism. Plus, it’s no fun – for boys or for girls. So it’s cool they’re talking about it – even if it is in this sanitised, jolly sort of way. An “honest, direct approach” is probably the best approach.

But really: leave it to the Americans to really scrub all the sexiness out of sex. When the woman in the video says the line, “and yes – it’s explicit”, I briefly wondered whether the word “explicit” would ever resonate properly for me again. I’m still not sure. If this is what it’s like to shag an American I don’t want to go there. Imagine if they say stuff like that during sex? “And yes – this will be explicit,” he says, as he gets into it/you. You’d just have to stop – even if he’d practised his technique using a fingering app for hours.

Emma might think it’s worth the £40; I reckon the best things in life are free.