9pm is Instagram at its peak
It’s 23 hours of crap and one hour of total gold
Swerve Instagram in the mornings: it’s gym selfies and guilt-trips. Lunchtimes are forgettable.
The golden hour of 9pm though, is a different ball game. The fitness freaks and tight abs are tucked up in bed and your feed is flooded with the memes that sum up your life, that speak to you, that make you laugh, not scroll furiously.
For during this golden hour, Instagram hand delivers you the perfect light evening entertainment. It’s mid-afternoon in America, meaning this: Kim Kardashian has spent the morning taking inane selfies to upload, and @Betches has spent the afternoon ripping them to shreds. Funny accounts like @scousebirdprobs, @sarcasm_only and @thefatjewish come alive at this time with their sassy memes and hilarious parodies which just keep you scrolling. Before you know it, you’ve spent an hour screenshotting your favourites, tagging your best mates in them and WhatsApping the rest to the group chat. You’ll be in fits of laughter by yourself as you slowly tune out to Netflix and become completely absorbed in the latest Instas.
The geniuses behind these accounts know exactly what you’re after, and they have the remedy. It’s mid-week, and you seek the comfort of something brain-numbing and superficial.
These pages recycle the same themes again and again – fuckboys, alcohol, money and work – but these themes are universal and their appeal consistent. They speak to you: it’s like you’re socialising but without having to make any effort whatsoever. It’s where you find the bangers that really sharpen your sense of humour, that tighten your deadpan phrases.
9pm Instagram represents the tone of humour in 2016. And that’s funny.