Why does every hipster in Shoreditch have the same bike?
It has a drop handlebar
There’s been some agonising over the hipster, there’s been some hand-wringing, some teeth-gnashing. Aren’t they supposed to be finished? The hipster, so parodied, such an easy shorthand for dickheads everywhere, has become a thing in a museum, a dying animal in a zoo.
But they’re still out there. If you know how to find them, if you know what to look for. In Shoreditch, in the alleyways around the House, on the streets near The Owl & Pussycat, the hipsters, all too real, so different that they’re all the fucking same, park their calling cards. Bikes like this:
This one right here:
Kicking around Boxpark like an extra in A Clockwork Orange, smoking on the roof of the office I work at, it started to dawn on me that all alternative lifestyle, burn your furniture to make it look older, types had the same bike. One with drop handlebars (Google it if you’re not into bikes). I’m not sure why or how this happened. So I started asking the hipsters about their wheels.
This guy was wearing sunglasses even though the sky was the same colour as the National Theatre. Why did he like drop handlebars so much? They look good he replied, mounting his bike and speeding off to some ceviche at Andina. I suppose all these people must have thought drop bars look good.
Then I bumped into this guy, who said his name was Frank and that he worked in design. His bike had drop handlebars:
Why did his bike have them? “They came with the bike,” Frank told said, “I don’t even really like them.”