Why living as a three is the perfect number

Three creates the perfect harmony. It is a Holy Trinity, it is a Toblerone piece: three sides connected and supporting each other in a beautiful triangle which makes sense. Everyone has a distinctive trait, and you love that trait. 

You fit on a sofa

Ever thought about why there are three cushions? DFS knows: comfort comes in threes.

You fit in a bed

When someone is ill, hungover or sad, the bed is wide enough for three people to sit and watch This is The End. You will rest the laptop in the middle on a textbook so no one gets too warm. Selecting a film barely takes any time because it’s Matt’s Netflix and we all owe him for our accounts.

Two can be lonely

You’re more likely to be on your own in a house of two people, and falling out with 100 per cent of your housemates in one fell argumentative swoop makes you feel like an enemy in your own home. Plus if you really piss them off they might do something horrible to your toothbrush and there’s no one else to stop them. Three keeps the peace.

Four is too even

Now we don’t fit on the sofa, or in the bed, how are we supposed to bond properly? Inevitably we will end up doing things in pairs, which is fine, but makes living with more people pointless. Four people don’t commit like threes do, because making a decision becomes an effort. There are more options, and more interminable debates about whether to get breakfast at the greasy spoon or the place full of DILFs and babies.

There’s never a queue for the bathroom

One in, one out, one in the bath, one on the toilet. Now that you’re a three you are closer than siblings: you would never leave Sarah on her own in the bathroom with a slug, no matter how naked she was.

There’s always one that’s around less (probably the healthiest)

Then two of you get to a three-person flat to yourselves. No open-plan, kitchen-living room for you guys because you have one of each. Time to smoke inside.

Sometimes you do get the house to yourself

Finally on a Thursday evening when Andy’s at work and Clare’s at yoga, you can walk into the house, step out of your shoes and leave them exactly where they are. You can turn on the telly and put on First Dates, you can make a cup of tea without having to make someone else one too. You can spread out over all three cushions on the sofa. No one will to ask you how your day went, you don’t have to ask anyone about theirs. If there are more of you, this won’t happen. If there are less of you, it will happen too often.

Washing up is quick

One pan, three plates, three minutes. 

You can see whose mess is whose

When there are only two possible culprits, it’s easy to see whose clothes are scattered over the living room. You know that dirty protein shake bottle doesn’t belong to you or Melissa so…

You’re more spontaneous

When you’re watching TV you can just look at each other, raise your eyebrows and shrug, “pub?” and it’s a done deal. No one looks at their watch and tries to come up with an excuse because everyone’s happy to spend the whole night with each other. It’s an unspoken rule that the trio that lives together, parties together.

You take a break from either one and still have the other

Becca is getting too much? Andy keeps slamming the door? Sack them off and seek refuge with the remainder. Talking to one other person doesn’t count as gossip, it’s a reassuring conversation.

Desperadoes come in packs of three

So do walnut whips.