The best clubbers of 2015

January exam results mean nothing compared to this

clubbers cotw

It’s been a heavy first term, but we’ve made it through together.

Before we all head off to doze in front of the fire and prepare for re-freshers, it’s time to settle something.

Behold: the greatest clubbers across the country from semester one.

Stunners of the term

Stunners of the term 2

Well one of us is going to have to change

Squad of the term

Best white shirts and yellow VKs party

The white shirt and yellow VK party was a roaring success

Shared shirt of the term

Best shared shirt

It gets awkward when we go to the toilet

Best Jean Valjean audition

Best Jean Valjean audition


Least convincing wigs

Best wigs

Could’ve fooled us if you’d paid an extra tenner

Most cartoonish injury

Cartoon misfortune of the term

Oh ffs, Becca got stuck in another lampshade

Cheekiest clubber

Cheekiest clubber

Trainers in a club? Naughty!

Chilla of the term

Chilla of the term

But where are the bubbles coming from?

Concerned parents of the term

Concerned dads of the term

Sit down, David – your mother and I need to talk to you

Cutest couple

Couple of the term

Male great white sharks have a modified pelvic fin, called a clasper, which they use to impregnate females

Least convincing friendship

Fakest friendship

Get the FUCK off me Hannah

Worst first attempt at shaving

First shave of the term

Did your fathers teach you nothing?

Most proud of their fur coats

Fur coats of the term

She’s laughing about dead animals

Girl you’ll never be as cool as

Girl cooler than you'll ever be

She’s not coming to your party

Girl most jealous of another girl’s Red Stripe

Girl most jealous of another person's Red Stripe

Bet hers is colder than mine

Guy most uncomfortable with hipster culture

Least accepting of hipster culture

Fucking JAM JARS?

Least effort

Least effort

You could have changed out of your day clothes

Longest arms

Longest arms of the term]

The lengths he’ll go to for respect

Most blatantly caught watching porn

Most blatantly caught watching porn

An incognito window won’t save you now

Most confused clubbers

Most confused clubbers

It’s a balloon lads

Most awkward fancy dress miscommunication

Most embarassing mishearing of a theme

But you said “dress up”??

Guy most pleased with his palm reading

Most happy about his palm reading

A long line curving around the ball of my thumb means I’m a rock whom people count on!

Most anthropomorphic glass of Scotch

Most human-like glass of Scotch

Aw he thinks he’s people

Most pissed off husband

Most jealous husband of the term

Dammit Sharon you do this every time

Person most on our vibe

Ye we get u

Most pissed off clubber

Most pissed off clubber of the term

Does he look like he has fucking time for this

Clubber most prepared for a sweaty dancefloor

Most prepared for a sweaty dancefloor

When your BF wears tweed to a club, you take precautions

Most promising new signing

Most promising new signing

He’s influential both on and off the pitch and i think he’ll make a great addition to the team

Guy most proud of his mate’s knuckles

Most proud of his friend's knuckles

They’re beautiful right

Most irresponsible clubber of the term

Most regretful clubber

If you’re not careful you’ll set your mate’s beard on fire

And his mate

Beard which has been too near a candle

Ah shit, too late

Most severely lactose intolerant clubber

Most severely lactose intolerant clubber


Most premature ejaculation

Prematurest ejaculation

Excuse me ladies

Saddest clubber

Saddest clubber

Last time I left my coat in a cloakroom, it was Welly Ball

Simplest pleasure

Simple pleasure of the term

You know what? We love Sprite too

Stickiest palms of the term

Stickiest hands of the term

With great power comes great responsibility

Worst attempt at putting on a jumper

Worst attempt at putting on a jumper

You didn’t even try

Best therapist

Therapist of the term

How does that make you feel?

Best therapy patients

Therapy patients of the term

It makes us feel alone