January exam results mean nothing compared to this
It’s been a heavy first term, but we’ve made it through together.
Before we all head off to doze in front of the fire and prepare for re-freshers, it’s time to settle something.
Behold: the greatest clubbers across the country from semester one.
Stunners of the term
Well one of us is going to have to change
Squad of the term
The white shirt and yellow VK party was a roaring success
Shared shirt of the term
It gets awkward when we go to the toilet
Best Jean Valjean audition
ONE DAY MOOOOOOOORE
Least convincing wigs
Could’ve fooled us if you’d paid an extra tenner
Most cartoonish injury
Oh ffs, Becca got stuck in another lampshade
Trainers in a club? Naughty!
Chilla of the term
But where are the bubbles coming from?
Concerned parents of the term
Sit down, David – your mother and I need to talk to you
Male great white sharks have a modified pelvic fin, called a clasper, which they use to impregnate females
Least convincing friendship
Get the FUCK off me Hannah
Worst first attempt at shaving
Did your fathers teach you nothing?
Most proud of their fur coats
She’s laughing about dead animals
Girl you’ll never be as cool as
She’s not coming to your party
Girl most jealous of another girl’s Red Stripe
Bet hers is colder than mine
Guy most uncomfortable with hipster culture
Fucking JAM JARS?
You could have changed out of your day clothes
The lengths he’ll go to for respect
Most blatantly caught watching porn
An incognito window won’t save you now
Most confused clubbers
It’s a balloon lads
Most awkward fancy dress miscommunication
But you said “dress up”??
Guy most pleased with his palm reading
A long line curving around the ball of my thumb means I’m a rock whom people count on!
Most anthropomorphic glass of Scotch
Aw he thinks he’s people
Most pissed off husband
Dammit Sharon you do this every time
Person most on our vibe
Ye we get u
Most pissed off clubber
Does he look like he has fucking time for this
Clubber most prepared for a sweaty dancefloor
When your BF wears tweed to a club, you take precautions
Most promising new signing
He’s influential both on and off the pitch and i think he’ll make a great addition to the team
Guy most proud of his mate’s knuckles
They’re beautiful right
Most irresponsible clubber of the term
If you’re not careful you’ll set your mate’s beard on fire
And his mate
Ah shit, too late
Most severely lactose intolerant clubber
Most premature ejaculation
Excuse me ladies
Last time I left my coat in a cloakroom, it was Welly Ball
You know what? We love Sprite too
Stickiest palms of the term
With great power comes great responsibility
Worst attempt at putting on a jumper
You didn’t even try
How does that make you feel?
Best therapy patients
It makes us feel alone