I went to a naked beach in Spain and it was absolutely terrifying
Suns out, buns out
Getting naked in public is odd. From your parents epic battle to squeeze you into a flowery swimming costume as a toddler to questionable choices in freshers week, it’s rarely a comfortable experience. So, when faced with the prospect of taking my kit off on a Spanish beach aged 19, in the middle of the day and completely sober, I was absolutely shitting it.
In the days leading up to my big naked experience I had started to imagine what exactly it was going to be like. In my head I was having fantasies about beautifully bronzed, sculpted Spanish Gods frolicking naked up and down the beach surrounded by equally as gorgeous women.But then the doubt crept in. What if I had to spend an afternoon uncomfortably avoiding eye contact with wrinkly genitalia?
Walking on the beach before I took my clothes off was a daunting experience. Being suddenly surrounded by genitalia of all shapes and sizes took a while to sink in, but once I got used to the sea of scrotums I realised the reality was neither as pretty or as weird as I had envisaged.
As I untied and removed my bikini top and bottoms I quickly realised my expensive and time consuming primping session had not been necessary. I had not only got a complete base tan, but a full wax as well, to prepare myself for complete exposure.
Looking around I quickly realised that my ideas about nude beaches had been completely wrong. No one was looking at me with any particular interest and unlike at Nikki Beach, I didn’t feel judged for not wearing a £300 designer bikini.
Walking around completely bare, I started to feel a sense of freedom that I hadn’t felt since I was a small child. Bizarrely I felt more comfortable in my own skin than ever before. My self consciousness had been left in the sand with the rest of my clothes.
There was a definite age difference. While the older, wrinklier nudies were completely owning it, strutting around and flapping everything about, the younger people were less bothered, seeming to only do it for the flawless tanlines.
But it wasn’t all fun and naked frolicking. Nipples burn, especially as it was their first exposure to the sun that in a while. I should’ve stocked up on the heavy duty SPF suncream because they were potentially the most painful sunburn I have ever experienced.
I was also incredibly glad that I brought a huge towel, because when you don’t the protection of a bikini, sand will literally get all up in the worst places possible.
Going nude was an empowering experience but it could have been ruined so quickly by someone making me feel uncomfortable with a lingering creeper gaze. I would never do it the UK, but the European attitude towards nudity is so relaxed.
I was disappointed that I didn’t get to spend the day watching a naked Spanish God, the feeling of confidence I left with was probably worth it. I don’t think I’ll be joining a naturist community any time soon, but I would definitely be the first to head back to a nudist beach next time I get the chance.