Boozers reveal the most grim stories from their holidays

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‘I’ve shagged some monstrosities’

Heading to Magaluf this summer? Or maybe Kavos? You and the thousands of others celebrating a 2:2 with a fish bowl and STI fresh from Ibiza.

The strip is littered with hilarious stories, along with a lot of cheap vodka and regret. More often than not we probably can’t remember them, but we asked this group of party-goers to rack their brain for their craziest holiday moment.

Peter Lomax, 21, Kavos

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“My mate came here last year and loved it so much he got the name of the hotel tattooed on his arse. So we came this year and now he’s some sort of celebrity around the hotel, everyone just wants to look at his arse.”

Katie Lomas, 19, Kavos

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“Well last night I got my daily post-night-out pizza, and some guy thought it’d be hilarious to steal it off me so I chased him down the strip. He spun me round and I got flipped into a metal shutter, so now I’ve possibly broken my thumb. I ate the rest of the pizza, it had a bit of gravel in it but it was still edible.”

Dave Homan, 19, Magaluf

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“I’ve shagged some monstrosities. One girl was on a football tournament with her team and she sounded like Johnny vegas.

“My mate Lambo actually head butted a porch window through, he was so happy and just shouted ‘Game’ then butted it. I had to pull the remaining glass off and stuff, then draw the curtain and pretend nothing happened.”

Beth Reid, 18, Kavos

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“I was walking down the strip and stepped right on a screw. It went straight threw my shoe and into my foot. I had to go to the medical centre where I faced a £100 excess fee. That’ll teach me to not buy flimsy shoes.”

Matty Maguire, 19, Zante

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“Me and two of my mates were in Zante and got leathered. We were at a shisha bar and one of them passed out, so we took him home on a horse and carriage at 2am.

“When he went to bed we fell asleep, woke up later and decided to go back out and race one another on the horses down the strip for like two hours.”

Caroline Hesford, 20, Croatia

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“I went with a group of girls and guys for Hideout Festival. The guys were staying in another apartment, and one night they wanted to stay at ours even though we had been warned about a cash fine for having them round before.

“So the landlord heard them in our apartment and they all had to hide in cupboards and wardrobes. One guy even swung from the balcony while they checked the apartment: 007 style.”

Becki Nuttall, 19, Kavos

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“I don’t know about crazy, but by accident I kicked my mate’s foot last night and her big toenail just came flying off. We were in this club and none of us knew what to do. It was so manky. We went to the medical centre and the guy was just sat drinking a WKD and gave her a plaster. We headed back out like nothing had happened.”

Alexandra Tsoukia, 28, Receptionist at Ekati Hotel, Kavos

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“We’ve had a lot of mad, hilarious groups in this hotel. This year it must be the Scottish lads, they were just awake all the time, going in the Jacuzzi naked, tearing off fire extinguishers. I tell you they were drunk 24/7. They’d just do stupid things. But that’s what you’re meant to do here, right?”

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