Who should be crowned national BNOC of the year?
You have to be more important than everyone else
It’s easy to become your local BNOC, but unless you’re national, you’re not a Big Name on Campus at all – you’re nothing.
Achieve personal fulfillment by leaving the other regionals behind and being crowned king of kings, BNOC of BNOCs.
Sheffield winner: Caitlin Ward
Caitlin Ward promised if she won BNOC 2015, she’d charge through campus in the nude – and she delivered, although her mum did make her promise she wouldn’t be arrested.
Caitlin, known as Sheffield’s fittest fresher, also celebrated her 2,000 vote win by giving out free Haribo in the SU shop where she works.
Unlike politicians who don’t keep their promises, the student body-builder even filmed the whole run wearing a Go Pro along the way.
Caitlin said: “I used the tape because it was bondage left from a dirty night and it was all I had!
“Hopefully the GoPro will cover my nipples, and it’s lucky I shaved before.
“I think I made a few people’s day though, I’ve never seen so many miserable people on their way to work.
“Security were waiting for me at the Union, but they didn’t stop me. I think they were too shocked by the size of my abs.”
She promised: “I’ll follow this up with the workout videos I promised on YouTube in July or August.”
“Thank you to everyone that voted for me and believed I would do it. I wasn’t put off by negative comments – haters gonna hate.”
Leeds winner: Art Sejdiu
Politics second-year, master interviewer, wearer of excellent ties, Art comfortably wrapped up the most prestigious prize anybody at Leeds Uni could hope to receive with a respectable 513 votes.
Art led a dignified campaign, not making too much out of the fact he was nominated, but he was ecstatic to take the award.
He said: “Shock horror – middle class white man wins award.
“Thanks to The Tab for giving me a platform to put up Boozenight. Hopefully this award will put me on the road to my life goal of winning a BAFTA lifetime achievement award by my 30th birthday.”
Just in case you’ve missed Boozenight this year, here is Art in action.
UCL winner: Adam Robertson
After claiming over half of the vote in the BNOC final, Information Management student Adam Robertson has sailed his way into BNOC victory.
On hearing of his victory, Adam said: “Wow this will look great on my CV”.
Adam will proceed to gold plate his already pimped out LinkedIn profile, in his ongoing mission to be a “baller”.
Adam later added: “What’s the prize? Do I get a Lamborghini?”
Liverpool winner: Dale Moore
Winning with an impressive 69 per cent of the vote, Accountancy Finance legend Dale Moore scooped Liverpool’s BNOC prize.
Billed as “the biggest lad in Merseyside” Dale said of his win: “Melville made me, Drum n bass raised me – dedicate this award to baby Womack whether he may be.”
Dale then later explained Womack is in fact the cat pictured below.
Newcastle winner: Raunaq Cavet
Raunaq won gold in Newcastle with an impressive 414 votes, that’s over 30 per cent of the final standing.
Glasgow winner: David Guthrie
Second year mechanical engineer David Guthrie, 22, is Glasgow’s champion: he’s shown class, pizazz and a keen ability to tear up a dancefloor.
His nice guy attitude and the fact he has a drinking game named after him won you all over and that makes him the most popular guy on campus.
Still overwhelmed by the award, David said: “I think the funniest thing about this is I’m pretty sure there will probably be a lot of people just going: who the hell is that?
“It’s nice to know my probably drunken antics in Beer Bar and Viper haven’t gone unnoticed.
Lancaster winner: Josh Berry
A whopping 73 per cent of you voted for Josh, and he was ecstatic with the results. He said: “I’m literally never going to hear the end of this.”
Josh is an award winning bartender and is commonly referred to as “the guy in the Grizedale bar”.
Our BNOC was humble in his acceptance speech.
He said: “I would like to thank my many fans and minions for this glorious achievement. You can rest assured that you’ve ‘Picked the right Berry’ and that I will be a fair and wise BNOC.”
Josh will be around for photos and autographs in Grizedale Bar so be sure to go and meet a true celebrity.
Our winner added: “For all other media requests, please contact my agent.”
Birmingham winner: Christina Feng
This title was always in Christina’s destiny, as she made herself known to the entire group of law freshers before even stepping foot on the campus grounds. Fellow students told The Tab how they all had heard of Christina, as she made sure to add each and every one of them – true BNOC potential.
And now her destiny has come true as Christina has nabbed the title for 2015.
Am ecstatic Christina said: “I was quite surprised and delighted I won the competition. Once again I’d like to say a massive thank you to all those who voted for me, I have thoroughly appreciated your support throughout this competition. Also well done to the other nominees too.”
Belfast winner: Debbie Wilkinson
Theology and Philosophy first year, internet sensation, good craic, Debbie Wilkinson is a big deal.
Of her new title she said: “Well it is pretty cool I guess. It’s nice to know a lot of people voted and support me because of my videos and stuff.
“I didn’t realise that so many people would have voted, it’s nice to know that people do actually like what I post on here.
“Ireland said yes, I won BNOC… People are making such good decisions recently.”
Oxford Brookes winner: Harry ‘Chopkins’ Hopkins
Harry has become famous throughout campus through his position on the committee for the American Football team and seems to be more a feature of Fuzzy Ducks than the duck itself.
The final result of the vote was decided by just a few votes making the difference between first and second. Harry took 37 per cent of your votes but beat his runner-up by a margin of just 10.
Harry was a big name before but now it looks like he’s set to become a household name from Wheatley to Harcourt and beyond. It looks like you’ll be seeing even more of him in Fuzzys, if that’s possible.
Exeter winner: Tom Parsons
Attributing his win in the first round of voting to simply “witchcraft”, the bemused rugby league lad stole the title (despite tragically not being in the club when his win was announced).
Tom took over 30 per cent of the vote for his justified BNOC title. He said: “I’m very happy I won, even though I wasn’t there to celebrate in the club. Thank you to everyone who voted for me, whoever you are.”
Hull winner: Laura Hutchinson
Sailing to victory with 58 per cent of your votes, the fourth year Law student was humbled in victory.
She said: “I genuinely find it quite embarrassing.”
However, she later added: “Do you get a good prize?”