David Cameron appoints cunning ex-ISIS chief as new Universities Minister

First austerity, now this


Tuition fees are still at nine grand, grad prospects are a wasteland and house prices are through the roof — could things get any worse?

And now David Cameron has appointed a calculating ex-ISIS chief as the new Minister for Universities.

Step forward Jo Johnson, 43, a new cabinet minister and Conservative MP for Orpington.

Ex-ISIS chief, current Minister for Universities

Balliol Oxford grad Jo Johnson was the old boss of notorious group ISIS, a local uni magazine.

The infamous ISIS headquarters are based in Oxford, not Raqqa, and were once led by Tory Jo back in 1993.

Now in the most recent cabinet reshuffle, David Cameron appointed him the Minister for Universities.

Jo_Johnson_at_British_Museum

If Jo looks familiar, it’s because he’s the younger brother of Mayor of London and current Uxbridge MP Boris Johnson.

BoJo’s little bro is the elected MP for Orpington in Greater London and the fate of your entire uni experience is now in his hands.

He was also a member of notorious Oxford posh lad gang the Bullingdon Club, after being pictured alongside George Osborne in a society photo from 1993.

But it looks like there might be hope for us after all.

As editor of ISIS, Jo wrote a fresher’s guide to the “essential characteristics of a few of the most recurrent and unavoidable” Oxford nightspots. Party on.

jo-press-photo-3

The feature includes a warning to avoid “odd” people who approach “with a nervous grin and an inane ceaseless patter that renders you speechless”.

He adds a riveting example: “Hi, I saw you earlier in the lunch queue what’s your name by the way I’m Andy from Dweebford in Kent do you want to dance…no…well come and have a coffee tomorrow morning…not too early mind because what with all this drinking I do I won’t be out of bed till 11 at least, probably 12.”