Are you a white man in an elected position at uni? The Independent wants you booted out

April Fools’ must have come early at The Independent as they published a bizarre, anonymous rant against white men holding elected positions at uni. 

The baffling tirade — which has since been quietly removed — wailed incoherently about “privileged whiteboys swinging their dicks around”.

Under the headline “White men should never hold elected positions in British universities again”, the raving author said: “This generation of students has been pissed on by the government and fees, and privatisation, and all anyone seems to want to do is roll over and let it happen.”

They went on: “Do you know why this is? It’s because our universities and student unions are too similar to our government; they are too stunted by white men.

“White men might want to appropriate injustice as theirs, desperate for something to struggle against, but it’s a hobby they’ll pick up and drop as soon as the first comfortable finance job beckons them over.

“We need to ban white men and their activism dilettantism [whatever that is] from student unions.”

They added: “Being a student union president should no longer be a place for privileged whiteboys to swing their dicks around before graduating into a world that is in no way affected by what they claim to fight for.

“White men have had the last several millennia in charge, and it’s been a shitshow from start to finish. A new generation of powerful women and minority ethnic people is ready to lead and change.

“It’s time for you to bow down.”

The incensed article was published anonymously — but “written by a British journalist” was later added in.

To read the online equivalent of a rabid dog foaming out its last in full, click here.