‘Can we stop clapping but do feminist jazz hands’ asks hopeless union conference

The latest in baffling NUS diktat demands an end to any form of loud applause or whooping because it could be “triggering” for people with anxiety.

The pathetic order was requested by the hopeless Oxford Women’s Campaign who actually said: “Please can we ask people to stop clapping but do feminist jazz hands? It’s trigging some peoples’ anxiety.”

The NUS Women’s Campaign then asked if people could be “mindful” and move to “jazz hands rather than clapping”.

Unbelievably whooping in approval has also been judged as “super inaccessible”, meaning these cretins are quite sincerely asking for a ban on fun.

If you want a vision of future, imagine all expressions of joy confined to noiselessly flapping your hands — forever.

Incidentally, one of the origins of jazz hands can be traced to “The Jazz Singer”, the first ever film to have a soundtrack, which starred Hollywood legend Al Jolson in blackface makeup.

Soon to appear as a motion for the NUS Women’s Conference 2016.

Thanks to NUS Scotland’s Vonnie Sandlan for pointing out jazz hands to show approval can also have roots in deaf sign language.