How unhealthy is your post-night out takeaway?

The battered mess you shove down your pie-hole after a mad one was never going to count as one of your five-a-day — but just how bad is it for you?

From cheesy chips to deep fried Mars bars, here’s what’s inside your post-night out favourites.

Remember nutrition experts say the recommended calorie intake is 2000 for girls and 2500 for boys — salt intake is six grams for everyone.

Would you like some mayonnaise with that?

Doner kebab – £5.50

Your regular lamb has an astonishing 1006 calories in and 62.3 grams of fat on average. You’re also getting nearly all your daily intake of salt in one go as it contains 5.9 grams.

Big Mac – £2.69

A McDonald’s classic Big Mac has 490 calories, 23 grams of fat, nine grams of salt — and that’s without stuffing any extras into your hammered mouth.

Chips – £2, £2.50 with cheese

The go-to burger van staple pours 788 calories, 30.9 grams of fat and 8 grams of salt down your eager gullet. Adding cheese brings the total up to 902 calories, 40 grams of fat and 9.7 grams of salt.

Deep fried Mars Bar – £2

If you’re a hard bastard or Scottish you won’t even care a deep fried Mars bar has 1200 calories, 28 grams of fat and 5.3 grams of salt.

Deep fried haggis – £2.70

Without chips, a deep fried haggis has 450 calories in. No other nutritional info exists on salt and fat content.

Domino’s 12″ pepperoni pizza – £15

The lowest amount of calories of any Domino’s 12″ pizza is 1720, along with 53 grams of fat and 4.1 grams of salt.

Chicken McNuggets – £3.09

388 calories, 20 grams of fat and 0.77 grams of salt are packed into these miserable blocks of processed bird.

Garlic mayo – free

Do you order garlic mayo with your takeaway? You’re better off spading liquid grease straight into your arteries because each small serving contains 100 calories, five grams of fat and 150 milligrams of salt.