There is a video of a man defecating on his friend’s chest for £300

Hell hath no fury like pooing on your mate

They say a picture can paint a thousand words  but in this case, there’s nothing to say.

Nothing except there is a video going around of a man taking off his trousers, spreading his arsecheeks and defecating all over his friend’s chest for £300 of blood money.

The grim video, which is far too graphic to embed here, is 50 second vision of perfect horror.

It was posted on Facebook on Thursday and has already been viewed close to five million times. Obviously we aren’t publishing it.

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The grainy footage begins with a fully clothed male counting out notes to give to his topless friend.

He shakes his friend’s hand: the final gesture of decency before plummeting down into the heart of darkness.

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The victim lies down and places a protective blanket on his face.

Then, leaving behind childhood innocence forever, the perpetrator pulls apart his cheeks and squeezes out a hot jet of steaming ordure onto his helpless friend.

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What follows is disbelief, cries of “oh mate, oh mate” and laughter from the defecator, who pulls the camera in close enough to see the black pits of his eyeballs.

The victim stays silent.

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Next in a stunning moment of the camera representing the audience, the hapless director runs gagging to the toilet.

The camera cuts to black. Nobody’s world can ever be the same again.

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