An alcohol scientist says he has disproved the idea of booze making you more eloquent and classic

You know how you feel really articulate and hilarious after a couple of drinks?

Well you’re wrong, because a neuroscientist at UCL has found booze ruins your verbal fluency — and just one drink can turn you into a blithering idiot instead of a charming stud.

Party specialist Dr Ravi Das investigated the impact of alcohol on eloquence to see if there is a “sweet spot” of drunkenness, when you have just lost your inhibitions but are still witty.

Thirty brave volunteers were tested in an evening of controlled drinking to see how many words they could say beginning with a certain letter in one minute, repeated after every drink.

Dr Das made the recruits pound double gin and tonics and also asked them to list as many words they could say in one category, such as musical instruments.

The tests were repeated three times in 45 minutes, each time preceded by another double.

Thirty volunteers smashed ten litres of gin over the course of the scientific experiment.

One said they became merrier and ended up “quite drunk, but not absolutely sloshed”.

Booze expert Dr Das told The Times: “I’d expect to see a bell-shaped performance curve.

“You never become more lucid than you are at the start. The idea of alcohol making you more creative is not supported.”

He found instead of hitting a “sweet spot” after the first or second drink, speech performance dipped and only recovered later.

In the letter task, participants did an average of 22 per cent worse after two drinks than when they were sober — and improved to seven per cent after three drinks.

Dr Das thinks memory and logic are affected before the disinhibition of alcohol kicks in.

He also found vibes and atmosphere increased steadily with each drink.

The Doctor added: “For optimal Christmassiness, you need at least two drinks.”