How to finger someone properly, according to a professional sexpert

This is important


Do you know how to finger a girl?

And how good are you at it?

Critics of fingering blast it as immature and pointless: something to give up once you’re over 25.

But they’re wrong and are probably terrible at it anyway because a psycho-sexual relationship expert called Denise Knowles says fingering can be a vital part of your sex life.

Here’s how to finger a girl

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How to finger a girl

Denise says: “Fingering can be very important and special.

“With any form of relationship, individuals are unique and everyone has their own way of doings things.

“One way that people bond together is discovering each other, which is a very creative process.

“When we talk about sex, we immediately start to think about penetrative intercourse. But sometimes this can’t happen.

“Some couples, like lesbians or women that are menstruating, might not want to have any penetration. So they can still experience an orgasm through clitoral stimulation.”

This is why it’s so important to know how to finger a girl.

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How to finger a girl

She adds: “If you start thinking about giving and receiving pleasure, fingering and mutual masturbation can be part of creative and sensual discovery.

“People in relationships bond with each other by exploring each other’s bodies.”

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How to finger a girl

Denise has been a sex expert for over 25 years and is amazed by how little people talk about how to finger a girl.

She says: “Find out what your girlfriend does or doesn’t like and discover their absolutely special thing. Feel confident enough to tell them.

“It’s not something to bring up on your first date sitting in Costa Coffee: you might make her choke on her chocolate brownie.

“But when you start engaging in heavy petting, like fingering, you should be able to say what you are and are not keen on.

“Slowly find your way around each other. What aids creativity is to communicate your differences.”


BBC Radio 1’s practical fingering advice

First and foremost, make sure both partners are comfortable. Everyone is different and enjoys different things so good communication is important.

The genitals are highly sensitive areas so make sure your hands are clean and your nails aren’t going to scratch your partner. Don’t just plunge in – it can be very uncomfortable, or even painful if there’s too much pressure – particularly when dealing with the clitoris. Go slowly and check it feels good for both of you.

Touch gently and try changing your motions to see what gets the most response. You’ll soon learn what your partner likes (and isn’t so keen on).


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There are also chemical reasons why fingering is an important part of your relationship.

Denise explains: “When men and women orgasm, one of the hormones released is called Oxytocin that is referred to in research as the bonding hormone.

“When it’s released it makes you feel closer to someone and you will want to repeat that, finding other ways to experience that closeness and that pleasure.”

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She added: “It isn’t going to be for everyone but fingering can be part and parcel of a relationship.”

Denise Knowles is a sex and relationship counsellor for advice charity Relate.

And now you know how to finger a girl.

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