We partied with British pornstars at their Christmas bash and they were really friendly
‘Nothing says Christmas like a good snow blowing’
Have you ever chatted to a pornstar?
You should, they’re the nicest people you’ll ever meet.
At the Television X Christmas single launch party in London we met a load of them: a South African porn baron, a Belgian veteran who’s been shagging on camera since 1992 and a starlet who was once on Tool Academy.
Industry legend Ben Dover also gave us a squeeze and a selfie.
This was the “Coming for Christmas” promo at a drag queen bar in Soho — in the lyrics of the song: “Let’s go sit on Santa’s lap, see what’s inside his sack”.
Meet the star of the single: 23-year-old Brooklyn Blue.
She sings in the video: “My christmas pudding, so hot and sticky. Do you wanna try some? Just licky licky.”
We talk over glasses of the free wine and find out Brooklyn’s two and half years in porn began with Tool Academy when she enrolled her boyfriend to stop him cheating.
It didn’t work, so for revenge she filmed a porn film and sent him the DVD.
“He cheated on me five times so I decided to get back at him by doing porn. And he was livid. That’s how I got in the business.”
Next is Victoria Summers, who sings backing vocals with Angel Long and Jess West.
Victoria, pictured right, has a boyfriend who is also in the business and the pair frequently work together.
“It’s great, you’re having sex with your partner and you’re getting paid for it.”
Luckily they’re not the jealous types, as it’s not just him she does on the job.
“Sometimes you think, ‘I wouldn’t fuck him in real life’, but then you arrive on set and switch on your porn mode, and think what positions you want to do, like reverse cowgirl and so on.”
Brooklyn added: “If it happens that I don’t fancy them I just look at their cock and think ‘Now I know what to do’.”
Both explained girls have an easier time than guys in porn.
Brooklyn said: “If you’re a guy you have to get hard and come on demand, in front of a crowd of ten people maybe.
“They have to keep it up for hours at a time. But if you’re a girl you can just open your legs and lie back.”
The room started to fill with actors, friends and anyone with a spare Thursday evening who RSVP’d to the event, and Brooklyn and Victoria strode away on huge heels to starting posing for photos.
No porn industry party would be complete without the Big Daddy: Ben Dover.
Ben, 58, has been making porn for 35 years and has no plans to retire just yet.
He plays drums in “Coming for Christmas” and pulls a beautiful face when Brooklyn sings: “Oh my god, look how big them presents are. I hope that massive ones for me, because you know what girls, size does matter.”
When we asked him if he preferred playing drums or shagging in porn the poor objectified male stopped and said: “You know, no one’s ever asked me that before.”
And the veteran of porn explained he doesn’t have many other options to pay the bills: “I always feel a bit embarrassed to still be working but nobody will give you another fucking job.
“Once you go into porn it’s impossible to do anything else.”
Bumping into him later, classic Ben interrupted our conversation and said: “Can I just talk to my girlfriend now? She doesn’t know she’s my girlfriend yet. Hi Rachel.”
What is it about British porn that makes it less glamorous than American? Filmed in the living rooms of home-county satellite towns instead of at pool-sides in LA mansions, maybe some of the glitz doesn’t translate.
A British porno beginning over a cup of tea in a cramped house under a drizzling sky doesn’t have the same sun-drenched charm of California – there are some things you just can’t fake.
Also at the party was Belgian performer Pascal White, co-creator of “Pascal’s Sub Sluts” series, who has been making porn before either of us were born.
Pascal finds most of the girls he shoots on Twitter.
He is a blunt man.
“I like the girls to be new, and they have to be submissive. It’s very hardcore.”
While he’s explaining he turns his attention to Rachel, tugging slightly on her hair and placing a hand on her neck.
“We do choking, hair pulling and calling people ‘sluts’ and ‘whores’. The girls who we shoot love it.
“But when we do that stuff we have to explain it all beforehand because of British porn laws.”
Before long, he’s taken away by a starlet in a bodycon dress. He walks off with a tiger-snarl on his weathered face, leaving us stunned.
Special THANK YOU , to my DICK for giving me such a great live and paying all my bills :))
— Pascal White (@PascalWhiteXXX) November 20, 2014
Eager to pose with the performers were the unsung heroes of the business: the IT guys, the silent backstage programmers.
The fleece-wearing coders awkwardly drank beer in the corners of the room as a clique, waiting their turn in front of the photographer.
They giggled when we asked if they were in the business, one of them quick to say this was their first time at a porn event and that he also worked for other websites.
But they couldn’t hide their glee at being invited, even if half the breasts in the room were fake.
Then it was time for the song: Television X boss Chris Ratcliff introduced “Coming for Christmas” to the crowd of porn investors who looked like pre-incarceration era Max Clifford.
Absent from the evening were the younger guys of the industry: maybe we missed them but the event seemed full of wide-gutted silver foxes and early-twenties starlets. Where have all the young men gone?
Television X are ambitious for their song to make Christmas Number One.
With lyrics like: “Nothing says Christmas like a good snow blowing”, they shouldn’t have anything to worry about.