Oceana charges more if you got bad grades

Cringe club does cringe thing – and spells name wrong

Clever sixth-formers who got better grades than their less intelligent peers will get to pay less on results night.

With their A level results party for the class of 2014, Oceana is offering cheaper entry for those with top grades.

The club said: “It’s just a cheeky bit of fun.”


And keeping in line with their strong brand image of mindless promoters and recycled themes, they’ve even managed to spell their name wrong on the flyer.


The club said the misspelling was “probably intentional”.


The original flyer with misspelling (left) – our interpretation of the artist’s intent (right)

“School maybe [sic] over but your Attendance is compulsory!” harks the event page with just 38 people attending. One attendee is so excited for DJ Walshy in the Barcelona room, he wrote “BANG BANG” on the page. The comment received one like.

Experts in the nightlife industry have indicated that offering cheaper entry for those with better grades could be the start of Oceana’s push to rectify its “dunce-like” image.

Nightlife correspondent and nine-time Oceana goer Matt McDonald said: “This indicates a clear shift in their branding policy. By offering cheaper entry for good grades, they’re targeting the more intelligent sector of the nightlife industry.

“That being said, they should try and spell their name right in future.”


Naturally confusion has spread about those doing the IB, and how their score would relate to the grade boundaries. When we called Oceana Watford for clarification, the person we spoke to “Didn’t know what [the IB] was”.

They also added that students need not take their official watermarked results out, and that photocopies would be accepted.