Get your tats out: What your ink says about you

We analyse people’s tattoos and how it represents their poor life choices


Is your design simply sublime or does your ink cause a stink? The Tab brings you the lowdown on what your tattoo really means and how to deal with any tattoo woes.

‘The rebellion’

The generic tattoo you use to represent your teenage angst as soon as you turn 18 is indicative of your need for individuality and of proving yourself to others. Whilst you may come to regret this in a few years if your tattoo has no real personal meaning for you, ‘the rebellion’ will act as a reminder of your youth and your carefree nature – a memento of the past.

Tariq Moore's Spiderman themed tattoo represents his love of Marval and comics, a key part of his life.

Tariq Moore’s Spiderman themed tattoo represents his love of Marvel Comics, a key part of his life.

‘The quote’

This tattoo type may make you look someone who feels the need to explain their emotional vulnerability and/or life story to everybody who asks about it, however ‘the quote’ can come in handy if you ever need to whip out an intellectual phrase to impress others.

However, please note that tattoo quotes from 50 Shades of Gray should probably be excluded from all public conversations…

Cute or just creepy?

If we didn’t know that this was from Wuthering Heights then it would be plain creepy…

‘The different language’

You want to seem a well-travelled, cultured individual so have chosen a different language to font your tattoo, in which neither you nor the tattoo artist is fully sure is a direct translation.

If you later realise the translation is wrong or that what it said it is too cringe-y to share, then at least you can tell new people you meet that it means something entirely different and they’ll be none the wiser.

different language tattoo

We hope this Arabic font isn’t just a fast food restaurant menu.

‘The name’

Whilst ‘the name’ may initially seem romantic and an act of true love, if your relationship sags like your skin inevitably will, then you’ve got a bit of a problem. However, this can stretch your imagination and encourage you to consider innovative ideas in how to deal with your humiliating mistake.

Always make sure that ‘the name’ you choose can be played with, much like Johnny Depp’s altering ‘Winona Forever’ to ‘Wino forever’.

the name tattoo

We reckon that changing Sophie Satchwell’s ‘you’ was a clever way of not using someone’s name!

‘The indie’

Short and simple – you include a triangle and an illuminati reference to appear mysterious and separated from the world, when in fact you just resemble a maths textbook.

This could be beneficial though if you’re studying a scientific degree however and forget your sin cos and tan when in an exam.

Triangle tattoo

Does @jake_pascoe_’s tattoo design remind you of wannabe hipsters?

‘The Holy Cross’

This tattoo is great to be used in times of emergency if you’re not religious yet are considering this design. If you live recklessly, then ‘The Holy Cross’ may be influential in convincing those who question your actions of your moral and angelic nature.

Chris Seaman's religious tattoo is sure to show his angelic nature, right?

Chris Seaman’s religious tattoo is sure to show his angelic nature, right?

‘The drunken mistake’

Everyone knows what it’s like to have one too many vodka and cokes, and, well, things can escalate pretty quickly. If, however, you’re left with an ambiguous squiggle rather than a work of art, then you can still use this to try and pull!

It can operate as a great introductory story to show your cheeky personality, or you can try and wing it and seem an intellectual by describing its abstract nature.

We're not sure if @Rryan_Ssmith's tattoo was a drunken error or just pure love!

We’re not sure if @Rryan_Ssmith’s tattoo was an act of true drunkenness or just true love!

‘The face’

Not so much a type of tattoo as a location, anything on ‘the face’ will either be hailed as genius or cause unparalleled fear. If you want to seem bold, a force to be reckoned with (for the rest of your life, please note), then a skull and cross bones on either side of your temple is a good idea, right?

Perhaps not, but if one day you find yourself with a ‘the face’ tattoo,  then at least you know you’ll have earned respect (though not everyone will verbalise this) for having the shear balls to go through with it.

oscar

Not quite the face, but tattooing your scalp comes in at a close second for the pain factor!

‘The 3-D’

If being treated like Superman is your thing, then getting a realistic tattoo of your chest being ripped as your body morphs will look awesome. Whilst ‘The 3-D’ is a fairly new tattoo idea and takes hours to complete, the end result will look epic and offers an edgy, experimental vibe to your character.

Chris Seaman’s 3-D scroll is both edgy and looks awesome!

‘The dates’

Whether they’re projected around a love heart or simply inked in a list, ‘the dates’ is an ideal tattoo for those who are always forgetting family members’ birthdays and anniversaries.

Who needs a diary when you can just use your skin? For forgetful people out there, ‘the dates’ is the tattoo for you, and it saves destroying the earth by writing them down on paper!

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We don’t even know what body part this is on @lucky7columbus…

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