What your boyfriend’s winter jacket says about him
He won’t let you borrow it
Guys love to decide what a girl acts like based off of the clothes she wears. If she will be high maintenance, a hipster, a slut, a guys girl, and so many more creative others. So, why not judge how guys by their winter jacket choices?
Canada Goose
Strengths: Money, cute shoes, has a car, money
Weaknesses: Has never used a vacuum, supports the mass killing of coyotes for corporate profit
Your everyday winter jacket
His name is John. He is 35 and drives a Ford Escape.
Patagonia
You: “So have you been to Patagonia? Where is your favorite place that you’ve hiked?”
Him: “Patagonia? Yeah I was just there last week, the one on State. That’s where I got this jacket.”
A hooded sweatshirt with a basketball jersey over it
A black peacoat
On Sunday mornings you’ll find him in the nook of a local coffeeshop. He peers up at you through is fake reading glasses, and asks if you have ever read Thoreau. You say no and he shakes his head with a smug yet meaningful smile as if he knows something you don’t. He says he has so much to teach you, but not before he orders you an espresso shot.
Casual sweatshirt zip up
It’s 8pm on a Saturday. He has yet to leave his cave of a room that includes a tower of Busch Light cans, a flat screen TV that has had “the game” on all day, and a mound of blankets he hasn’t washed since last time he was at his parents house. His five o’clock shadow is actually just cheese dust.
Vest
Don’t be silly, you’d never date a guy wearing a vest.
Fur collar
He cares more about his hair and his “look” than you do. He gets his haircut at a designer barbers where they give him free whiskey he pretends to like. He owns a nice camera, but it is used solely for you to take photographs of him for him to use on his Instagram. He’ll spend $300 on a jacket, but will stare at you when it comes to paying for coffees. He thinks dressing well is an excuse for letting himself go, and will ask you if you think he’s fat after sex.
A Snowboard jacket
The skater boy is all grown up. He has ditched his DC sneakers for a pair of sleeker vans. The word “powder” is muttered from his mouth every other second and every Christmas he gets a new board. If you chose to Facebook stalk him all there is to be found is boarding videos with EDM music playing in the background. He wants to move to Colorado after college.
Carhartt
His scent says rugged, but his weeping at his favorite sports teams most recent loss says otherwise.
No jacket at all
A rebel without a cause. He is so manly that he makes his own personal body heat. The time he spends at the gym to overcompensate for…other things…is endless. The world does in-fact, revolve around his muscular, chiseled body. To make him smile, give him some free protein powder.
Barbour
Likes to think he’s British. His wardrobe consists most of Ted Baker quarter zips, and chinos. In the Summer he’ll wear boat shoes and button down shirts, but during the winter he likes to dress up as a member of the aristocracy. Break up with him if he also has a flat cap.