Whether you’re in Cabo or Paris, here’s your spring break horoscope

Yes, we know exactly what is going to happen

Astrology is making a comeback people, whether you like it or not! Recently astrology has had a surge in popularity, which has caused horoscopes to pop up everywhere. Regardless of if you actually believe in horoscopes or not, you can’t deny that daily horoscopes are a fun to read. However, with all the new horoscopes popping up, it’s no surprise that some of them are incredibly unbelievable and vague. That said, here is your Spring Break Horoscope.

Spring Break is going to be a good time for you dear Aries. On Monday you will talk to a total cutie, which could develop into something more … or maybe not. It depends on you as an individual person, not really your star sign. On Thursday at 12:54pm you will find $20 on the floor, score! And over the weekend if you are traveling beware of a man wearing a yellow shirt.

Taurus my friend, this week is looking a little bumpy. If you are going to Cabo, when deciding whether or not you should take that last shot on Tuesday afternoon, don’t. Otherwise you will find yourself kidnapped by a Mexican drug lord and wake up on Friday with one less kidney.

Gemini, you may be the twins, but don’t be two faced this week. Tread lightly with a close friend, or if you are going home with your parents. Your snappy attitude could cost you a friendship, or it could costs you your tuition which your parents will stop paying if you don’t check your attitude.

Cancer, you may be an emotional wreck usually but you need to pull it together this week. When your #bae posts a picture with a hottie in Cabo on his Instagram, don’t jump to conclusions. Ok let’s be realistic, you will definitely jump to conclusions and make a scene and regret it. Start looking for new opportunities, and relationships, to distract you from the one you will likely destroy this week.

Leo, we get it, you’re obsessed with yourself. You’ve been posting a lot on Instagram…and Facebook…and Twitter…and Snapchat lately. Use Spring Break as a nice social media detox, because while people won’t tell you to your face that posts are getting irritating the dip in your number of likes speaks for itself. And would it kill you to like more posts instead of just scrolling past?

Virgo, don’t drink the water in Cabo. Stick to bottled or booze to hydrate or you will find yourself in the hospital on Wednesday, and we all know that a Mexican hospital i not the place you want to be on your Cabo trip.

Going home for break? Don’t text that ex back when they hit you up after seeing your snap story. Going on vacay? Don’t make out with that stranger in the bar. They WILL give you herpes. Just avoid people in general honestly and you will have a great break.

Scorpio, whether you go home for break or go traveling you will pull a lot of hotties. However, at 2:37pm on Wednesday you will meet someone who could hold potential for something more. Or not, because once again if you are an awkward person no horoscope can solve that.

Planning on traveling this Spring Break? Don’t. Flying? Your plane will go down. Driving? You will get into a crash. Anything? You will get injured or die. So just sit home watching Netflix over Spring Break. You will have a much better time than all the Cabo goers AND save your liver.

Honestly Capricorn this week is pretty uneventful for you. Just live your life the way you wish to live. Oh well I guess something good to say here would be your usual workaholic self should take a breather and party. You don’t have schoolwork so there is no excuse NOT to drink an entire bottle of wine by yourself on Wednesday, other than the fact that it borders on alcoholism.

Aquarius, I’m running out of horoscope ideas. One of your traits is that you are adventurous, so maybe try something new or go traveling this Spring Break. And by something new I mean anything, even ordering something a little spicier at dinner. Maybe curry?

Pisces, you are usually so chill, but Spring Break is your time to be a little more wild. Get on that table at the bar when “Bennie and The Jets” comes on. Have your 27 Dresses moment. Just make sure you don’t fall off, we both know tequila makes you dizzy.

 

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