BREAKING: Beyonce drops out of Coachella, promising to headline in 2018

Will Adele steal Bey’s Coachella like she stole her Grammy?

The Associated Press has confirmed what every SoCal resident between the ages of 15 and 35 has spent the last two weeks fearing: Beyonce will not perform at Coachella 2017.

Although Bey will be back to headline in 2018, she will be in her third trimester of pregnancy by the time the Indio festival begins. Beyonce spent most of her third trimester while pregnant with Blue Ivy on bedrest. Carrying twins will likely prove even more difficult.

Although Goldenvoice’s announcement reeks of predictability, it comes as no less of a disappointment. Rumored contenders to replace her include Daft Punk, Lady Gaga and, perhaps in the true spirit of schadenfreude, Adele

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