Hawk getting unexpected support in SBP race after squirrel attack
‘The hawk’s beak was covered in blood, with bits of entrails dangling from its mouth’
A hawk has been spotted on campus terrorizing our beloved UNC squirrels. Students have seen the beast – there may be more than one – sitting in trees and swooping down to snatch the squirrels, and some think the hawk is making a statement in the Student Body President race.
UNC law student Jeff Warren witnessed this scene over the weekend. He said: “I see that dude everywhere. It was in front of the Old Well – just behind a tree.”
“Overseen: the ‘only viable candidate’ for student body president taking out his opponents.” Photo credit: Jeff Warren
“I was walking back from the law school. As I approached this beast of an animal, I noticed that it had captured and eviscerated a squirrel. The hawk’s beak was covered in blood, with bits of entrails dangling from its mouth.
“When I was about five feet away, it ceased masticating this bloody carcus, looked at me with its bloody beak and placed its giant damn claw on what was left of the squirrel’s face. It was at this point when I realized, ‘man, this would be a great picture.’
“I took out my phone, snapped a few pictures. At this point, a few people came up to my right and shrieked when they discovered the mangled, bloody, lifeless body of the squirrel under the hawk’s claws. The hawk, clearly perturbed, grabbed the carcass and flew away – presumably to its badass hawk mansion where it keeps the skulls of its vanquished victims.”
Photo credit: Jeff Warren
Jeff posted his photo of the hawk on the Facebook group “Overheard at UNC” with a clever comparison to the Student Body President election happening today.
Twenty-year-old Biology major Siena Fallon soon posted another photo of the hawk. Her experience was thankfully not as gory as Jeff’s, but seeing the hawk did help her decide on who she would vote for in this election.
“I was walking through the Pit this morning, past candidates for SBP yelling for my vote, when the hawk swooped down, going in for a kill. Despite his hawkish policies, the hawk had just earned my vote. #hawkfor2016.”
“He has a natural talont for politics,” one commenter said. Photo credit: Siena Fallon
“Unlike the other candidates, the hawk isn’t just all talking points. He’s the only candidate willing to take back our campus from the squirrels. It’s a political revolution.”
Regardless of who (or what) you vote for, be sure to cast your vote by 8pm tonight in the Student Body President election.