The struggles of being the oldest sibling

To understand the struggles of being the oldest sibling, you have to go back to where it all started.

I don’t personally remember, but my mom told me when she went into labor with my little brother I had my Grandma stop at Wendy’s on the way to the hospital. Now looking back, that totally sounds like something my younger self would do. Great way to start my tenure as an older brother, isn’t it. Impatiently sitting in the waiting room with some of my family friends, I could feel the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. I was so anxious it felt like I was a kid in line to meet Santa Claus, the ‘real’ Santa Claus. Yet in all seriousness, I cannot describe how elated I was when my little brother Joe was born. On August 5, 2000, I finally became a big brother, a day I will never forget. Then on April 14, 2014 I was gifted with my baby brother Izak.

The terrible realization

I didn’t realize it at first, but being an older brother can be a stressful job. Don’t get me wrong – I love my brothers more than anything; but if anything were to break or go missing I always go down, no matter who committed the crime. That’s just one of the task of being an older brother. Being the older sibling also means that you get tasked with all the annoying jobs around the house like doing the weeds, or even worse, the dishes. Then when I got my license I turned into my mom’s personal taxi, whether it was going to the grocery store or dropping my brother off for early morning practice, on a SATURDAY. It was pretty rough for me until my brother turned 13 and started to help me with most of the chores around the house. Yet to my surprise it only made things worse. Nowadays my brother Joe and I spend more time arguing over who has to do what, than actually completing the task at hand.

Momma knows best

Being the oldest I’ve learned to adapt to certain situation in life, and being responsible for my younger siblings can be a spontaneous and hectic job. When I was younger my mom would always tells me, “ You and your brothers live and die together, so no matter what you have to stick together.” So far she hasn’t been wrong. I lost count of how many times my little brother would snitch on me either for doing something he didn’t like, or for me giving him a beating he rightfully deserved. No matter what it was I would always receive some type of punishment, whether it was a spanking, being grounded, or the occasional stern talking to. I now use what my mom told me as motivation to be the best big brother possible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect by any means, but I try my best to be a good role model to my brothers.

It’s all about the head start

From my personal experience, having younger siblings is one of the best things that happened in my life. For all those who have younger siblings, there is nothing better than watching your siblings succeed in life. My goal is to prepare them for the world in a way I wasn’t, so that they can have a head start. A big part of being an older sibling means you make the mistakes in life, so that your siblings can learn from it and not repeat it.

After surviving through the perilous journey that is middle and high school on my own I want my brothers to know what to expect. Going in blind, not knowing what to expect in any new environment is not ideal for anyone. That is exactly what I want my brothers to avoid.

The real world

As I prepare myself for adulthood I want to pass what I’ve learned through my life experiences down to my brothers. Certain life lessons that school doesn’t necessarily teach you, like how to network yourself, or how to bounce back from a defeat. I know that both my brothers are headed on the right path in life, now all I have to do is stay on myself as I brace myself for the real world. I believe that my experiences as an older brother will help me in the future. Once I am good and ready to settle down, start a family, and raise my own kids, I will take solace in the fact that I’ve done this before, to a lesser extreme.

I thank my parents most of all, since they created a safe environment for my brothers and I. We were always well cared for and treated with love, and I’m grateful for that. Even though I grew up in a sheltered environment, I am not blind to the fact that some people around the world do not have a loving and caring family like I do. For that I will be forever grateful. That is the main reason why I volunteer at homeless shelters, because when I was younger, during the winter, I would go with my dad to homeless shelter to give out hats and gloves. It started as a one-time thing, which turned into a yearly endeavor. They helped direct my moral compasses in the right direction; and I know for a fact that without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today.