What it’s like being the only black guy in a white fraternity

The day before I left to return to Miami for the fall semester, I told my parents that I was considering joining a fraternity. Being raised in a black household my parents were always very strict and all about abiding by the rules. That also might have to do with the fact that my dad is a cop, and my mom is a lawyer. My dad also played football here back in Miami’s heyday in the early 90’s, and has seen some wild things during his time here.

Nevertheless I decided to tell them, to see if they would support my decision. To my surprise, my mom was more impartial than I would’ve expected telling me: “As long as you don’t do anything stupid down there and end up in jail, I’m OK with it.” On the other hand my dad only see’s things in black or white, for the twenty years I’ve known him I have never been able to find a grey area with him. So you can only imagine his response to me wanting to join a white fraternity. He told me: “I don’t want you joining a fraternity at all, I don’t trust you around all those wild white boys. If you feel that strongly about joining though I want for you to wait until your junior year.”

And just like every normal child in America, I did the exact opposite of what I was told.

Since I had already gone through rush week the previous semester, I had a solid idea of what I was looking for in a fraternity. After going to some of the scheduled events, and meeting a decent amount of brother from different fraternities around campus I managed to narrow my list down to just one, Kappa Sigma. When I had received my bid I already knew I was going to accept, even though the words of my father echoed in the back of my mind.

After I accepted my bid, I decided to call my mom and tell her since we tell each everything, well, almost everything. Her first response after hearing was the news was: “Do you plan on telling your father about this?” I laughed sarcastically in response, telling her that it was our little secret. I did plan on telling my father about the news, when the time was right of course.

During the time I was pledging, one of my favorite shows, South Park, came out with, in my opinion, their best season yet. Each episode that came out related to current world situations. Throughout the season they touched basis on the Trump Hype train, ISIS, as well as Katlyn Jenner. Yet the one topic I felt like I could relate to the most was the PC episode.

The creators characterized those who are PC as loud and obnoxious stereotypical “frat guys” with one twist, an uncommon awareness of social justice issues. This is ironic because many people believe that frats are full of a bunch of selfish, entitled, rich boys who don’t care about society.

After going through the typical pledging process, I truly believe I have come out as a better well-rounded young man. I learned a lot of valuable lesson, making many strong bonds with friends I’m sure I will have for life. My experience joining Greek life has been very positive, it was not solely about the party scene, which is a huge misconception about frats. Since joining I have taken on a larger role in contributing back to the community, participating in food drives for the homeless, as well fundraisers for the B+ Positive Foundation. There are many stereotypes that the majority of society thinks are true which simply aren’t; like how all we do is drink and party everyday; I spend more time giving back to the community and competing in philanthropic events for other sororities than I do partying. Or how Greek culture is insular – I still have other friends outside of Greek life that I keep in touch with, my life isn’t solely connected to the frat I joined. Even though I am one of probably the 20 black guys in all of Greek Life I haven’t had a problem fitting in, and embracing who I am since joining.

Before I even joined a frat I knew that being around non-black people for an extended period of time that I would occasionally get the typical “white people” questions like, “How good are you at basketball, can you dunk?” or white girls asking me “Is your hair real? Can I touch it?” Of course every time I’m asked that question I say yes, cause who doesn’t want a cute girl running her fingers through your hair. To this day, my entire family does not understand why I decided to join a white fraternity, viewing me as a traitor of sorts, as if I switched team but that’s not how it is at all. If anything, I’m a double agent learning the hidden secrets of Greek Life. But on a more serious note, I don’t feel out of place, or uncomfortable, throughout my entire life I have had no problem making connections and friends no matter what setting I’m in.