This is what it would be like if Mean Girls were set at UMass
‘Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Kumble R. Subbaswamy’
We all know, love, and have watched (too many times) the timeless classic Mean Girls. While the movie was set in Illinois, near Northwestern, it could be easily applicable to our lovely UMass.
We thought we’d show you exactly what it would look like if Mean Girls were actually a story set in Amherst:
“Get in loser. We’re going to Target.”
“Peeing in Theta Chi is off-limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.”
“We only carry sizes one, three and five. You could try a dorm party.”
“Why should Swesties get to stomp around like giants, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under their feet? What’s so great about Swesties? Hmm? The rest of us are just as smart as Swesties. People totally like everyone else just as much as they like Swesties. And when did it become okay for one living area to be the boss of everybody, huh?”
“I can’t go to pita-pit. I’m on an all-carb diet. God, Karen, you are so stupid!”
“If you only knew how mean she really is, you’d know I’m not allowed to wear yoga pants, right? Yeah, two years ago she told me yoga pants are her thing, and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore.”
“Oh my God, Berk! I love your work!”
“That’s why her hair is so big. She walked past Du Bois.”
“On Wednesdays we wear pink North Face coats.”
“I don’t hate you because you’re in the honors college. You’re in the honors college because I hate you.”
“Made out with a freshman? Oh my God that was one time!”
“You smell like you went to Frank.”
Subbaswamy at Berk: “You can’t sit with us!”
“There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who ride hoverboards around campus, and those who don’t try to stop them.”
“Whatever, I’m getting late night.”
“If you’re from Africa, why would you pay out-of-state tuition?”
“I’m sorry I called you a hippie bitch. It’s not your fault you live in Central.”
“I’m not a regular RA, I’m a cool RA.”
“I have this theory, that if you cut off all her hair she’d look like she goes to Hampshire.”
“I’m sorry I laughed at you that one time you vomited outside of Sig Ep.”
“This is Susan from UHS, I have her test results. If you could have her call me as soon as she can. It’s urgent, and I probably won’t answer. Thank you!”