Why every girl should take a self-defense class

Our usual reaction to the creepy guy at the bar is to give him a fake number or to find a way to get away from him without him knowing. We worry about upsetting someone who is drunk and who may become aggressive or hostile, so we find the most passive ways to get out of an uncomfortable situation. This is often a result of something that has made girls fear a pushback from a guy.

For me, it was a boyfriend who ignored me when I said, “no,” and pinned me to the bed and said, “Just let it happen.” I was neither strong enough nor skilled enough to get away from him. I was only able to get out of that situation by convincing him that my parents, and most importantly my stepdad, would be home soon. When I finally broke up with him, he began stalking me and showing up at my house and trying to get inside. The only reason he stopped was because my stepdad called him and threatened to call the cops. These situations made me think that I had no control over what a man wanted to do to me unless another man was involved.

Four years later and sick of feeling helpless, I enrolled in a campus self-defense course. My first day they emphasized saying how you really feel towards the people who make you uncomfortable. They explained the importance of saying “no,” and speaking up for yourself. Your most powerful tool against that creepy guy, or anyone making uncomfortable moves towards you – whether sexual or not – is your voice. Looking someone dead in the eye and telling him to back off sends a lot stronger of a message than you’d think.

But they also understood sometimes that isn’t enough. That drunken creepy guy at the bar doesn’t care what you think and instead wants to take you home, or your boyfriend thinks he’s entitled to you. So the next thing my instructors taught me was how to respond physically and appropriately.

They showed us what moves could be used for what degree of threatened we felt. For example, a creepy guy putting his arm around your shoulders when you ask him not to touch you doesn’t warrant a punch in the face, but rather something a little less damaging. Understanding the correct reactions to threats allowed us to be confident that if we needed to respond physically, we wouldn’t be at risk of a surprise lawsuit.

The class gave me confidence to stand up for myself. Over the course of four weeks, I learned multiple statistics, tricks, hits and faith in my own voice. During the last session, we had the option to apply what we had learned in simulated assault situations.

Simulated elbow strike

I got suited up, full kneepads, elbow pads, boxing gloves, a chest pad and a padded helmet. We went in one by one to find our instructors in full body padding and girls who had completed the simulation on the side ready to cheer us on. The simulations started off slow with one officer pretending to be a rather forceful drunk guy, then an assault at a bus station, and finally an assault from behind from one instructor and then a standoff with the other.

An assault simulation with participant using a hammer-fist technique

I was surprised by how quickly I was able to react in the simulations and that I was able to use what I learned effectively. I was able to take down and get away from men who were twice my size. The last simulation I actually don’t remember because I didn’t have time to think. Luckily they filmed our simulations and we watched them together, amazed at our newfound abilities to defend ourselves.

A self-defense student using a knee-to-groin technique in a simulation

Since taking the class I’ve felt a lot safer when I’m out. Knowing that I am better prepared to deal with unwanted advances makes me feel more secure in myself. I’m also more aware. I take note of who may be too close to me or who may be a threat, and it usually turns out OK, but I’m not afraid now to tell those people that they are making me uncomfortable.

I feel like I have more control in life now and I can’t thank my instructors enough for giving me the confidence to stand up for myself.

I left the class realizing that you never really know what you’re capable of until something forces you to find out. I recommend this type of course to all women, because I now have the confidence to tell the next guy who gets in my space to stay away from me and if he doesn’t listen, I know how to deal with him.