The Smirnoff taste test

Which flavor sucks the least?

For the sake of pre-gaming, the Tab UConn 21+ members: Tania, Ylenia, Holden and Alban, decided for your safety (and enjoyment), we would make sure Huskies are being exposed to the right alcohol. Smirnoff nips were the easily accessed brand of nips- the liquor store register was bathing in it. So, we bought one of each.

We want our fellow Huskies to have the best alcohol, but if we can’t stomach it, we don’t think you should either. So here’s the good, the bad and the ugly of every Smirnoff flavor.

Smirnoff Citrus: No Good

As most Vodka flavors try to imitate the flavors we love the best, a shot of citrus-flavored Smirnoff will leave you begging for real fruit, or to stay away from it for a really long time. Remember how you said you were going to try and stay healthy? Don’t incorporate citrus-flavored anything into your diet.

Smirnoff Pomegranate: Really difficult to enjoy

After choking out the words, “that’s great,” we came to the conclusion: no, it isn’t great. It’s far from great and it tastes like the medicine you pick up from the Sam’s Corner Store after realizing you caught the flu from the person you were making out with in that house’s basement party. Unless you’re feeling ill and wish to forget your sickness, this may not be for you.

Smirnoff Passionfruit: Made you think about life… or feel really happy about it.

This flavor got our tastebuds tingling. It was an iffy flavor which had us wanting more or pretty much asking ourselves why we were killing our liver.

Smirnoff Green Apple: Please stop this.

After nearly vomiting, this flavor will not have you begging for more. It’s a flavor that will trick you into believing it’s a different fruit (since our guesses were every other fruit but Green Apple – until we almost threw up). The Farmer’s Market near UConn will remind you of the dark times you drank this flavored vodka before heading out to a Flannel and Handles themed party.


 

We recommend chasers, mixing or drinking from the keg at the party or bar you’re venturing to. The flavors can easily be replaced entirely with better tasting vodka or some other interesting alcohol which aren’t in these flavors, whatsoever. If your friends want to sit around and try vodka, we advise these are the more interesting flavors to try, they have the most flavor but really fun to watch your friends cringe in their seats.

Moral of the story – Smirnoff kinda sucks regardless of the flavor.

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