Every thought Berkeley students will have during break

‘I’ve worn my Cal sweatshirt everyday for two weeks’

Whether it’s thinking about how excited you are to mooch off of your parents’ food for an entire month or how you wish everyone would just let you sleep all day, we’ve all been there.

I really hope I don’t see anyone I know

There is nothing worse than exchanging pleasantries (read: really awkward conversation) with so-and-so from high school or church camp or your dentist.

You have to lie through your teeth about college (why yes- school is going really well, I know exactly what I’m doing with my life, etc.), or endure pitiful looks if you tell them the truth (I’ve eaten a tortilla with peanut butter everyday for the past month).

Of course, if you do end up seeing Suzy from high school, it will inevitably be on the day that you didn’t shower and are wearing the same sweats you’ve been watching Netflix in all week.

Please, please do not ask about my grades

Yes, mom and dad, we know you just want to check in to see if the inordinate amount of money you spend on tuition is paying off. Avoid telling them, if you can- it’ll always end in your tears and their yelling.

Tactics to avoid conversations about how grades have just been posted: ask questions about them (people do love to talk about themselves), throw food at them, point out something bad your sibling did recently, etc.

I am going to eat all day, everyday

The bright light of your home’s refrigerator is a beam of heavenly light on the harvest inside. It’s filled with fruit and vegetables (which you haven’t seen since your mid-semester health kick), leftovers from the lovely homemade meal from last night, and non-expired milk.

You’ve forgotten that fridges are meant to hold food, not seven nearly empty jars of jelly and some questionable food scraps left by your flatmates.

I’ve worn my Cal sweatshirt every day for two weeks

You tell yourself that it’s because of your intense Cal pride, not your inability to deal with buttons or anything not fleece-lined.

Go (wear something else) Bears?

For the love of all things holy, please get me out of this family function

Your mother doesn’t understand that you absolutely can not, and will not, listen to Uncle Jerry babble on about “those damn liberals” and that “liberal gibberish they teach at that school of yours”.

I wonder if I can watch a season of the Office in one day

Let’s say that there is an average of 23 episodes per season. That leaves one hour for sporadic bathroom breaks and food runs.

It starts off as a simple musing thought, then turns into a sick sort of personal challenge.

Afterwards, you will swear off Netflix for the rest of the break- only to return faithfully to watching your favorite show by the end of the next day.

When do I get to go back to Berkeley?

The stress of finals has been forgotten, leaving you with only happy memories of all the shenanigans you got up to last semester. The comfort of being home with your family has been replaced by the suffocating feeling of having to be accountable.

You miss your college friends, you miss being on your own and not having to deal with nagging parents, you miss the greasy foods on Durant.

You can take the Bear out of Berkeley, but you can’t take the Berkeley out of the Bear.

 

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