Meet the freshman who steals from fraternity houses
A girl’s hobby and her artifacts
Imagine a home that has never been cleaned. It reeks of beer and uncleanliness. You assume you’re walking on a floor, but you can’t see one. You hover over the toilet seat if you’re brave enough to go to the bathroom — carefully trying not to catch any diseases. Can you guess what dungeon I’ve described? If you guessed a fraternity house, you would be correct.
I sat down with Brooke* to ask her about a habit she developed in college. Each time she leaves a party at a fraternity house, she has a few rituals. First, she proceeds to the bathrooms and breaks a toothbrush in half.
“How confused would you be about last night if you woke up and your toothbrush was broken in half? That’s hilarious,” says Brooke.
Next, she choses a trinket to bring home as a sort of memorabilia of the night. How did this begin you may ask?
“I’m not really sure why we started, it was just a funny thing to begin with but then it evolved to see how creative we could get and what we could steal. I never stole anything of value though. It’s not for personal gain, it’s just for funny!”
Pictured below are some of her best hauls along with each story.
Me, myself, and I posing with handcuffs, a rock, and some remotes all of which Brooke has taken
Two remote controllers
Brooke claims the remotes are her favorite of her collection. “We went to this frat house and I picked up the silver remote and took the batteries out–because batteries are expensive and I’m not looking to put these guys out of a lot of money or anything. The next week we went back to the same house, and he had bought a new remote so I took the batteries out and stole this one too.”
A trophy and handcuffs
“I stuck the handcuffs out in my bra and the trophy went in my friend’s pants. I really don’t feel bad for stealing the handcuffs anyway because I’m sure those weren’t used for good things in a frat house…”
Beachball, glass, and 5lb rock
“The beachball was deflated at the time so that was pretty easy to sneak in my friend’s pocket. I was wearing a cardigan when I took the glass so that was another easy one. About the rock… we had gone a whole party and had forgotten to grab something in the house, so when we went outside and I saw a giant rock and I made my friend go grab it. So we carried the rock straight to the Uber and all the way up to our room.”
Shoelace (not pictured, but still hilarious)
“I took a single shoelace out of a shoe on a guy’s foot. I just wonder how confused he was in the morning as to where his other shoe lace could have gone.”
Finally, Brooke wanted to share a few tips: “It’s important to take things with your back turned,” she emphasizes that sneakiness is the key to not being caught. “Hiding the objects in your bra is always a good plan,” she told The Tab.
Her final piece of advice is to “start small, then let your creativity flourish.” Now you have all of the secret tips you need to mess with Frat boys everywhere.
*Name has been changed