Things at Pitt I trust more than the Secretary of Education
Somehow the Wifi is better than Betsy
Betsy DeVos is the secretary of education and is notorious for being unfit for her job. She cannot be trusted. Luckily, there are many things here at Pitt that are more trustworthy than her. Here are a few.
People who say the shuttles are always on time
You have to get up to Sutherland from Cathy. Luckily, you remember that Pitt has a shuttle bus that will take you from lower to upper campus. People say it’s great. You wait for the bus. Then you wait some more. Eventually, you realize that you could’ve walked up to Sutherland and back by the time the bus arrives.
IGA supermarkets
The crows on 5th
This reminds me of that Alfred Hitchcock movie. Last semester, I had to walk from Towers to the music building to get to class, and I was praying that a bird didn’t decide to take a luscious dump on my head. I never appreciated jackets and sweatshirts with hoods so much until I came here.
Using the shower barefoot
I don’t even want to know where that floor has been.
Omelets from Market
The eggs come out of a BOX. I have never seen anything more fragile and more oily than a Market omelet. Well, except for Iraq, maybe. In that case, expect the US Army to be paying Market a visit soon.
Pittnet
Or as it’s commonly known, Shitnet. It can be beyond unreliable. Wifi is crucial to education here. Betsy is not. Also, what is ‘eduroam’?
The elevators in towers
Something about these elevators just scares me a little. They shake and make strange noises, and there’s usually a stain on the already gross carpet. I’m really glad I live on the fourth floor so I don’t need to take the elevator.
Port Authority bus drivers
If you have an atheist in your life you want to convert, make him or her ride the Port Authority bus. I can guarantee they won’t be an atheist when they get off. My life has flashed before my eyes several times on these buses, and thanks to Betsy, now so is my education.