Trends at Penn State that need to stop
Do you even vape, bro?
Penn State has been called a cult, and maybe we are. But there are definitely some trends that have popped up on campus that we need to put an end to… NOW. Trust me, your future self reminiscing on what a degenerate you were in college will thank you. Here are the trends we wish would just go away.
Hoverboards
Because I can’t think of anything worse than trying to walk behind that kid on a hoverboard while I’m 20 minutes late to class looking like a homeless person. We get it– you’re rich and probably a lot cooler than us. And, you’re probably the same person who drives that lime green Ferrari around campus
Quoting DJ Khaled on Snapchat
Don’t get me wrong– I am as big of a fan of Khaled’s Snapchat as the next person. I even set aside time to watch it every night before bed, but things are getting out of hand, guys. If I see one more snap of someone’s meal with the caption “They don’t want you to eat insert food here,” I am definitely going to lose it. It’s a god damn Chipotle burrito… no one is stopping you from eating it.
“Lit”
True story: The other day, I tweeted “I’m lit like a candle,” and I’ve never hated myself more. That’s when I knew “Lit” had to end. I can honestly say I think I hate it more than “turnt.” Just drink your Natty Light and keep it to yourself.
Bodycon dresses and crop tops
I know that this phase has lasted for years, and I don’t know if it will ever go out of style, but, in the winter months, I really think it should. It’s 10 degrees outside. I know you’re trying to look hot, but you can probably get laid by a frat boy either way. And, I know I personally don’t wear these because of my Freshman 30, but I at least have the decency to wear a fracket.
Black North Face parkas
I kid you not – I once saw 8 sorority girls walking down the street, each covered in the exact same black North Face parka that went to their ankles. It’s like the Penn State winter uniform and it needs to stop. Yeah, it’s cold, but mix it up ladies. You’re better than that.
“Squad” and “fam”
#SQUADGOALS
This is a bandwagon I never hopped on. It doesn’t matter if it’s Taylor Swift’s #SquadGoals or the caption of your friends posing for a selfie before hitting the frats. I am not on your cheerleading team, nor am I related to you in any way, shape or form. We are not a squad. We are not fam. Enough.
Uggs
I got my first pair of Uggs in 2007, and that’s where they should stay. I get that they’re comfy and I even throw my chestnut’s on when I’m running to the MinitMart late at night. But, they’re not a fashion statement. The only statement they’re making is that you are stuck in the past.
Man buns
I definitely can go for a good rugged man bun once in awhile, but it’s not enough to make me scream “YAAAAASSSSSS” (well nothing will make me say that, but still). It’s just gotten to the point where guys are growing man buns when they clearly cannot pull them off. It’s for the greater good. Let’s go back to the dad bod phase instead– I liked that one more
Veganism
Everywhere I turn, another vegan pops up (#AnotherOne… it’s addictive, I’ll admit). My friends that swore by Wings Over (which is why they were my friends in the first place) are now requesting to follow me with their vegan and fitness Instagrams. Which is another thing within itself – creating Instagrams to share your new “lifestyle choices.” And don’t even get me started on dog Instagrams. And how come nowhere in history class was I learning about gluten free pilgrims… But anyway, go eat a steak
Vaping
Do I even have to say anything? Just stop.