Which Girl Scout cookie is your UMich major?
We all know who the Thin Mints are.
Lately Girl Scouts have been all over campus, targeting UMich students as their main customers for their delicious cookies. There’s no question that it’s worth a few bucks to grab a box or two…or six. But the real dilemma is, which cookies do you buy? Worry no more, because we’ve objectively narrowed your choices for you, according to your major.
Lemonades: Political Science
Polisci majors are known to be a little bit sassy. Catch them at a party this Saturday thoroughly explaining the effects of government budget cuts to their helpless prey. While they can sometimes be a little bit ~vanilla~ in their interests, they can also be super fun, just like this cookie. A little bit sweet, sometimes sour, and totally unique.
Samoas: Spanish and Romance Languages
Just like the name of this cookie, RLL majors exude an exotic vibe. They’re smart enough to proficiently speak at least two languages, and smooth enough that they could whisper the word “samoa” into your ear and you’d think it was some type of seductive foreign expression.
S’mores: BCN
Like this delicious cookie, BCN majors have a lot of layers. They’re well-rounded students with the perfect ratio of brains and originality.
Shortbreads: English
By far the least exciting Girl Scout cookie, shortbreads are just like English majors. Bland. Sure, the cookies are a well-known flavor, but have you ever heard someone say they would kill to have a shortbread right now? Yeah, didn’t think so. English majors are quite the same, just a little bit mundane, with all that 18th century literature leaving them a bit behind the times. Still, the shortbread cookie, like the book your resident English major is currently reading, is a classic, and just like the English major, it’s extremely versatile.
Tagalongs: The Arts
It’s all in the details with this one. These crispy cookies layered with peanut butter and chocolate are a true masterpiece. There’s only one major out there that loves to zoom in on the finer elements of life, and you’ll find them painting and performing.
Thanks-A-Lot: Business
These cookies are literally every Ross major’s dream: a delicious snack, and also a reminder to be polite to everyone you meet, just in case you need to network with them someday.
Toffee-tastic: Nursing
The School of Nursing trains students to be invincible and fearless in the world, but in such a competitive program, nursing majors often seem the most stressed. But don’t worry, Girl Scout cookies, like this indulgent flavor, can help. I bet you can find at least one box stashed in their backpacks, and probably singular cookies and crumbs in the pockets of their scrubs. Obviously saving those last delicious bits for the night shift.
Do-si-dos: General Studies
Like Do-si-dos, the General Studies major is a very safe option, even if it’s rarely your first choice. It’s the cookie you get when they’re out of your favorite, just like General Studies is the major you choose when you’re denied from Ross.
Trios: PitE
As if the granola wasn’t a big enough clue. These flannel wearing, Earth conscious students are the epitome of this oatmeal cookie with peanuts and chocolate chips. Just make sure to recycle the packaging!
Thin Mints: Engineering
Engineering majors and Thin Mints have something in common, and that is that they think they’re better than all of the other cookies, ahem, students. However, while engineers may at times be condescending, like the Thin Mint, they live up to the hype. They’re crazy smart and we need them like I need 16 boxes of Thin Mints NOW.
Savannah Smiles Psychology
Set on making the world a better place through understanding people at a basic level, Psych majors are always smiling. Honestly, it’s a little disturbing. I don’t know who Savannah is, but I’d be willing to bet that she probably reads a lot of Carl Jung.
Now that you’ve learned what cookie box you fall into, I believe you have some eating to do. Just remember, even though you may be a Do-si-do, you can still be friends with a Thin Mint, although I don’t recommend trying to study with them, and don’t even bother asking if you can copy their lecture notes.