UIUC emails no one ever bothers to read
To the trash folder with you
Has anyone ever read a UIUC email?
UIUC students receive approximately one million emails per day. But has anyone ever actually read a UIUC email?
No matter where the email comes from, if it looks obnoxiously colorful or has GIFs, you probably won’t read it.
Looking (or not) at you MASSMAIL.
That club you forgot you signed up for on Quad Day
We’re all guilty of signing up for an infinite number of clubs on Quad Day. Because it’s physically impossible to join all of them, some clubs get the awkward “can you remove me from your mailing list?” or even worse, the spam folder. Sorry weird club that I was bribed to sign up for with candy.
Awkward.
Your college
OK, sometimes these emails are super helpful, but when you’re in a college like LAS, half of the email probably doesn’t even apply to your major. Unless it’s about a career fair, it’s probably an email about how to sign up for some class that doesn’t even cover any required classes or a workshop. You’re much better off reading the emails from your specific department.
Illinois MASSMAIL
Be honest, the only time you read these was when there was a strike and you wanted to see if lecture was canceled. A lot of the time these emails are about a new Chancellor or Dean we have. I’m pretty sure the only MASSMAIL any of us ever open are the ones about crime on campus. It isn’t exactly our first priority to sit down and read what the annual announcement of copyright policies says.
Illini Pride
We legit get an Illini Pride email everyday. No offense to the Illini Pride committee, but we only read the ones that say what time the game starts at. Most of us never bothered to sit down and read the Illini Pride newsletter, but if you do, kudos to you and your love of sports.
Your res hall
Whether it’s your first or second (maybe third??) year dorming, you know the ultimate annoying RA UIUC email looks like. Maybe it isn’t all RAs, but if you have an RA who is super into their job, you probably receive emails that have multiple different fonts in an array of colors with a funny (or at least attempting to be) GIF. I never understood why a normal email wouldn’t suffice.
Yes, that was a GIF of a dancing pickle (I think?)