Stop catcalling me on my scooter

Various Publix locations have been a hotspot for scooter lurkers, or as they’re known by their other title “dudes with nothing to do at 2 pm on a Tuesday”. That Publix parking lot is really nosy older men’s favorite location. When a college student is squeezing grocery shopping for dinner in between two classes, the last thing she needs to debate about is whether she will be featured in Gainesville’s Harley Davidson Biker Parade.

Here are a few incidences of scooterly discomfort:

Publix: Where compliments roll out faster than any scooter ever could  

While pulling out of the parking lot, a rusty Toyota Corolla pulled up with 4 older men in it and one in the back lowered his window after the driver honked his horn disturbingly, “HEY! Can you do wheelies on that thing?” “No.” “Well, have you ever tried?” (No, and goodbye. This feast of fried chicken and red velvet cake isn’t going to eat itself if wheelie habits are to be discussed).

You don’t have to be riding on the actual scooter to get that infamous scooter girl attention though. Inside Publix, a worker asked one girl, “You have a scooter, right? I’ve never seen anyone look so good while riding a scooter.” He’s definitely the type to tell other girls, “I’ve never seen anyone pick up an organic eggplant so gracefully.” The place where you’re trying to get produce is not the place to be catcalled by weirdos.

“A tomato, an apple, celery, and a potato is a marriage proposal where I come from. Get over here, girl.”-Samantha Nuzzi

The open road

Turning into school, one man asked “So, can other people ride on that thing with you?” “Yes.” “Well, who rides with you?” *no answer* “I sure would love to try it sometime. It looks like fun.” This bizarre conversation made this girl wonder if someone had attached a FREE RIDES bumper sticker to her scooter. Would he have asked someone in a Mazda for a trip around town while holding onto their super cool and necessary spoiler?

Two girls on one scooter is the perfect recipe for unwarranted attention from extra creepy men. If there’s more than one guy in the car, it’s honestly scary. Maybe what people say about the attractiveness of the person hitting on the girl is what makes the difference is true. When two girls mentioned their interaction with a fireman, there didn’t seem to be any complaints there. Obviously, harassment is never acceptable, but it seems that some will make exceptions. If a girl is all covered up except for her eyes from the chilly extreme winter of Gainesville, then “Your pretty eyes are looking at me, mami” is not encouraged from men or women.

She’s not flashing that calf for you

Women: The protectors

“Hey! Hey!” The scooter girl looks over to the car beside her expecting the worst. “Your back tire looks a little flat, you should get that checked out.” Yessss, this woman is just trying to help and not be pervy creep.

“AWESOME SOCKS!” was what one woman yelled to a girl wearing admittedly awesome narwhal socks. “Awesome socks” versus “Can I ride with you?” Do you all see why girls don’t just “want attention”? Praising their choice in accessories is not that scary, doesn’t that make sense? On the other hand, compliments from creeps are just plain uncomfortable.

Respect the socks

Real talk though. Anyone on a scooter is completely vulnerable to getting hurt physically. Additionally, the openness of the vehicle somehow seems to suggest to people, in particular, creepy older men, that it’s totally fine to strike up a conversation with a fearful girl who is just trying to get somewhere. She has no interest in communicating with this older man wearing a wedding ring who should be waving to his kids as he walks into his home, and not to her in the hopes of some scooterly flirting.