Epworth House: the Duke accommodation you’ve never heard of

You may have heard of the renowned housing institution but considering the 96% of freshman on Duke who aren’t in Epworth haven’t yet, no one is judging you. Epworth is full of character.

From the dorms filled with flying cockroaches and air conditioning systems from the 60s, it is truly a building like no other.

Who wants a cool breeze circulating the room when you can be blown by gusts of dust, warm air and other conspicuous liquids accompanied with noises not dissimilar of a monster truck.

We may not have Giles’ basement or Bell Tower’s modern art work nor their incredible proximity Wholefoods but we get to host the haunted house on Halloween because what we lack in modernity, we make up for in antiquity. Which other house has an old school porch that no one uses or showers that are so great, they only provide the coolest of water. Refreshing.

I mean who cares that Hotel Bell has the soccer guys, Wilson has the even less known Basketball team (Harry Giles who?) when Epworth has the most sought after and highly regarded team of all.

The team everyone hypes about and goes to watch on a Rainy Saturday morning. Known for their wild nights out and their scandalous lifestyles: the Women’s cross country team. Follow the scent of mud and sweaty spandex and maybe that way you’ll find Epworth.

If you fancy staying over, our phone alarms will definitely wake you up with the sweet sounds of some rather questionable EDM and if you’re one of those heavier sleepers or too drunk to notice, the light pouring through what they told us were “blinds” will.

Epworth is pretty well hidden. Set apart from the hustle and bustle of Market Place and the Quad, it’s a rather small little thing, given that two thirds of it burnt down.

It seems that Duke are so keen to restore the glory days of the Epworth Inn, that instead of pimping it up with some heated floors and sound proof doors (much needed), they are, rumor has it, knocking it down next year.

It seems they are already saving up for the big occasion by providing us with bathroom paper so thin, it practically disintegrates in your hands. Oh and don’t get us started on the lack of hand soap. I mean who needs hygiene when you’re getting a world class education, right?

But there is a small thing that makes Epworth far superior to all people staying in the pimped-up houses in the Quad. Epworth is a real community. They will carry you down the stairs when you’ve had a bit too much fun on a Saturday night at Shooters and will willingly put their lives at risk to kill the cockroaches in your room.

Surprise birthday parties with cake and 3AM piano sessions means no one feels alone. Impromptu bathroom meetings with girls who share the en-suite with you, accompanied with cookies and cake, while debating who has the chore of cleaning the outdated tiles.

It’s because of all this and much more, that the Epworth family is definitely something special. For all your flaws, of which there are many – Epworth, we salute you.