Why girls shouldn’t aspire to be Rory Gilmore

With the Gilmore Girls revival coming out it’s time for all female millennials to look back on how their lives didn’t turn out like Rory Gilmore’s (though we tried).

We were supposed to have three hot boyfriends who fawned over us, go to an Ivy League school and pretty much excel at everything we attempted.

That’s not reality, nor should it be.

Rory being perfect

Throughout the series, Rory had three serious boyfriends and numerous men competing for her attention. She was never alone long enough to figure herself out or to realize that she was dating pieces of shit. Not everyone with a boyfriend is in an unhealthy relationship, but Rory couldn’t recognize the difference between toxic and healthy.

Starting with Dean, the master of making her feel bad for things that weren’t her fault, she landed a real winner. On to Jess, with less than an hour in between, he left the state without telling her because he couldn’t get prom tickets. He also was just consistently a dick to everyone. Logan was worst of them all, making people with less money feel worthless and sleeping with three of his sister’s friends the second after he and Rory might’ve broken up.

Rory always has a boy in her life, becoming dependent on having a boyfriend and holding herself back for each one. Girls today need to learn to be independent and rely on ourselves. Our worth doesn’t come from our boyfriends, so it’s okay to end a shitty relationship.

Rory and Logan

The one good thing that Logan showed Rory was that living life in the comfort zone will only hold you back. Rory spent her entire life learning from books, rather than experiences. She even learned to sext from a book. She hardly ever left the tri-state area and only did so at the prompting of others. She was stuck in the role of the intellectual and never tried to be anything else. It’s wonderful to be smart, but girls shouldn’t learn that we can only be smart from books or school. Adventures are just as valuable, if not more. The world is full of experiences and living in this world means being a part of them. Trying to be Rory means hiding your face behind  someone else’s words rather than living in the world.

Being perfect all the time can be exhausting. Drinking ten cups of coffee a day and studying excessive amounts is bound to drive you to sleep with your married ex-boyfriend, or steal a boat with your billionaire boyfriend because you’re upset, rather than just eating a lot of poundcake. Rory had pressure to be the perfect child her mother wasn’t.  While she ultimately turned out wonderful, she often sacrificed her happiness to meet expectations. No girl should believe she should do that.

In our beautiful world

Everyone who meets Rory loves her, even if not at first sight, because she’s nice to everyone. She always has a smile and always puts others first. This would be wonderful in an ideal world, but we don’t live in an ideal world. There are times to put yourself first, and that’s okay. It’s important to take care of your own happiness, as well as being a decent person. Girls don’t have to be the ones who always sacrifice their time and happiness so others can take advantage of them. Few people take advantage of Rory, because she’s not real, but her selflessness still takes away her energy and her happiness.

Ultimately, Gilmore Girls is not reality, as much as we’d like it to be. Trying to be something we aren’t naturally will only lead us to failure and unhappiness. Being ourselves is more than good enough.