A judgmental map of Bucknell University
Vedder should just be renamed ‘shit show’
College campuses are never as they appear. Inevitably, we will judge them for their faults. This map is here to aid the judgment of current and incoming first years of our not-so-perfect campus.
The Vedder shit show becomes apparent in the first few weeks of any given semester when it becomes a hotspot for alcohol poisoning and people begin to pee in the halls. The Bucknell squirrels are obviously demented and don’t follow the laws of nature. It’s worth avoiding any spot where they live in abundance. Once students leave the Bucknell campus and Lewisburg, Pennsylvania becomes Pennsyltucky. There are so many farms and Trump signs it makes us feel like Bucknell is a haven. Even within our haven, the only civilization anywhere is on Market Street.
For some, the faults are the reason we came here. For others, they’re just endearing bits of an already great campus. For the rest, we’re just laughing through our tears.