We measured BU tuition’s cost in drinks

A significant number of Boston University students have many loans and creeping debts that haunt them. The Tab BU has decided not to rub salt in the wound, but to take the absurdity of BU’s tuition rate with a pinch of humor: let’s see how much it costs in drinks. Get your calculator and some pocket tissues!

Boston University’s tuition is $49,176 per year.

Add $9,810 for average housing, $5,060 for most dining plans, and roughly $1,000 for the textbooks.

So how many drinks would this be?

Wine and chill

Wine is by far the best thing you can drink for a cozy night at home. College students are not picky about it; the taste does not matter as long as it satisfies your chronic alcoholism. Boxed wine is ideal: $11.99 for three liters of sweet Cabernet Sauvignon from Trader Joe’s. With just the cost of textbooks, you could have 83 boxes of wine or 249 liters per academic year. The cost of a basic dining plan would give you 422 boxes or 1266 liters. Basically enough to get you drunk for life.

Drinking all the beers at T’s Pub

You’re really craving beer, and decide to try to drink all of the beers on T’s menu. The five beer imports go for $4.25 each, the 11 craft brews cost $66, and the eight draught beers (regular size) are $36.75.

Bill for the night: $124.

Dividing the tuition by the bill, we find out we would have reached our tuition in exactly one year, one month, and one day (or 396 nights) of debauchery at T’s, and drinking a total of 9,504 beers. Bottoms up.

Photo courtesy of Maria Noyen

Classy night of champagne at Royale

Now, let’s say it’s your best friend’s 21st birthday and you’re feeling generous at Royale. You order three bottles of champagne: the House Champagne for $75, Moet & Chandon for $175, Dom Perignon for $600.

Bill for the night: $832.

You’ll reach BU tuition in 59 nights, or approximately two months at Royale, with three bottles of champagne… each and every night. The housing cost will cover you for 12 nights, with a total of 36 bottles of champagne.

Cocktail sipping at Eastern Standard 

What’s a better way to get drunk on a night out than with cocktails? Eastern Standard’s cocktail list “The Gang of Eight” will cost you $98 each night. You will have drinks for 501 nights, or approximately one year and four months to reach the tuition. Or basically 4,008 cocktails.

Margaritas at Sunset Cantina

Bahamarita, Billionaire, Blue’s Brothers, Entourage, Mafiosa Mind Eraser, or Pink Cadillac? They have cool names, a good taste, and go perfectly well with nachos. If you get these cocktails, the bill would be approximately $120, which means our tuition is worth 2,460 margaritas at Sunset Cantina. Damn. If it wasn’t for the sake of getting a good education, we could have been wasted for the rest of our lives with all this money. But books over alc, am I right?

Who’s down for shots?

BU Pub is the hidden jewel of Boston University. Also called the BU Castle for its magnificent architecture, this place will bring you back to the medieval times in a Tudor-like vibe. Located at 225 Bay State Road, it’s the ideal place to go chug some drinks right after class. Prepare to drink like a knight with the Knight’s Quest and with $3 per shot, you could have 1,686 shots instead of a dining plan. Get your priorities straight.

I hope you have livers of steel.

Featured image courtesy of Elise de Bethmann.