Things every girl can look forward to when Trump takes office

Because who doesn’t want to be grabbed by the pussy?

Almost 100 years ago, in 1920, the 19th Amendment of the US Constitution granted American women the right to vote. In 2016, Americans failed women by choosing Donald Trump to be the next President of the United States.

But honestly, there’s a lot that we can look forward to when Trump becomes the next leader of our country.

We should expect inappropriate behavior from guys when men and women are grouped together

I mean, what kind of genius thought it would be acceptable to put men and women in the workplace and not expect sexual assaults? It’s not like women have been fighting for equality and protection against sexual harassment in the workplace for decades. What were we women thinking – we could work amicably alongside men without the fear of being sexually assaulted?

We can look forward to being rated and judged by our appearance

Because in the 21st century, women are only good for their looks. Beware, wives everywhere: husbands now have full reign to file for divorce based on your outward appearance. No one cares you’re a wonderful person on the inside, anyway.

Breastfeeding in public will probably be deemed disgusting

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Hide yo kids, hide yo breast pumps. Such a distasteful act as pumping milk for your child is not something anyone wants to see.

You can assume it’s OK for a man to say horrible things about you online, but never to your face

John from the office may think you’re the most hideous co-worker he’s ever seen. But don’t worry, it’s completely fine because he won’t say anything out loud, he’ll just tweet about it. Easy for him to express displeasure in 140 characters or less.

You can expect sexual harassment in the workplace

“It must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees.” Trump spoke these exact words to a female contestant on his television show Celebrity Apprentice. It’s a good thing to know that a women’s place in the work setting is now supposed to be on her knees. Everything I ever hoped for in a career.

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Mothers should expect to raise their children with no help from their husbands

Trump doesn’t change diapers because it’s a woman’s job. Because the last thing a new mother should expect is her husband’s or boyfriend’s help with the baby, am I right?

And lastly…

We can’t forget the most important thing of all: it’s okay for rich and powerful men to do whatever they want to you, even grab you right in the pussy.

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So ladies, put down your books and protect your pussies. Women have been fighting and winning battles against things like sexual assault, equality in the workplace, or just plain old sexism for decades.

Scratch that – that’s no good. We have to start over and make America great again. Looking forward to four years of misogyny commanding the White House.

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