If Boston bars were your best friends
Mary Ann’s is BAE for reasons we will never understand
There is no better feeling than walking up to a bouncer on your 21st birthday and confidently showing them your ID. You’ve waited what feels like an eternity to finally get into a bar, and now that you’re legal, you need to know which bars are your new best friends.
Just like friends, our bars come in all shapes and sizes, so here’s a guide to the bars you’ll be friends with for life, and which ones you’ll never speak to again after graduation…
Mary Ann’s: The one who never showers, but you love them anyway
Nobody really knows why this person is popular. They’re a tad ratchet, but oddly very charming. Even though they’re a little run down and not the coolest kid on the block, they’re your loser and they aren’t going anywhere. Together you’ve shared many drunken nights, many basketball games and many green monster chug challenges.
You truly love this friend because they’re always down for a late night Pino’s trip. This friend is the hidden gem, forever #1 in your heart and the best friend anyone could ask for.
TITS: The one who’s a major diva
This friend is a diva, but you keep her around anyway because she always insists on splitting a fishbowl. This friend always picks up the tab, and demands you get a round of nachos for the table.
White Horse: The one who parties a little too hard
They usually wake up with a shattered phone and one shoe. They’re the one who says they’re not going to drink “that” much, and end up buying the entire bar a round of shots. Most nights end with you dragging this friend out of the bar.
Cityside: The one you hang out with when your best friend is busy (or when the line to MA’s is stupid long)
They aren’t your first choice, but you know they aren’t that bad. Every time you hang out with them, you realize how fun they are, but they still won’t ever surpass your BFF.
Baseball Tavern: The one who wishes they were a D1 athlete
This friend has a big ego and thinks they’re the center of attention. Sadly, they’re very mistaken, and haven’t yet realized that they’re old news.
Patron’s: The one who wears wedges to class
This is the friend who has a casual bottle of wine on a Monday night, and is the reigning queen/king of tequila shots. You know you can always count on this friend to go out with you any night of the week. Your most adventurous friend by far who knows how to have a good time.
Wonder Bar: The one who is never, ever allowed to DJ
They’re the strange friend, the one in the group who is slightly off. It’s obvious they don’t fit right in, but you hang out with them anyway because half of the time they can pretend to be normal.