A helpful guide to meeting people in person, because nobody seems to do that anymore

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A helpful guide to meeting people in person, because nobody seems to do that anymore

WARNING: You do actually have to talk to them

Not to sound like some wild-eyed woman peddling crystals on your morning commute, but I’m convinced there’s still a way to meet people in person.

I don’t want my entire life to become like that one episode of Black Mirror where everyone rates everyone else based on their looks and — oh wait.

But you know what I mean. It’s not like we Tinder in public or anything — oh wait.

Shit, I give up. Just please — I beg you — put your phone down for one second and consider the ways in which you might still have meaningful human encounters, like getting catcalled on the street, or giving guys at the bar a fake number when they ask you for your real one.

Unless you’re reading this article on your phone, in which case carry on because I have bills to pay.

Friends of friends are key

The number one complaint I hear from friends is that they “can’t seem to meet anyone normal in person,” but that’s because normal people are few and far between.

It’s like a company being way more likely to hire someone that’s been suggested to them by an employee — you have a better idea of what you’re getting into, and at least someone you trust has vouched for them.

Does make it more awkward when you fire or stop dating them, but let’s live in the “now,” shall we?

Take it easy, and allow yourself to let your guard down

I’ll be the first to admit I’ve gotten pretty used to looking down and avoiding eye contact with strangers when I walk around — 2017, it’s a weird time, folks. But not everybody is out to scam you, sometimes the guy smiling at you from across the bar genuinely wants to have a conversation.

Try going out on weekdays instead of weekends

I always imagine myself going out on weekends and locking eyes across the bar with a major 10. But then I actually get out and realize I’ve spent most of the evening drunk gossiping with friends in the bathroom, and shouting over that Ed Sheeran remix everyone is really into.

When you go out on a Tuesday or Wednesday, you actually stand a chance of stealing a seat at the bar — or being able to hear someone when they do decide to chat you up.

Don’t expect every single person to be into it

People often get turned off from confronting guys in a bar because they’re afraid of being turned down, or have been turned down in the past. But just as you’re not into every guy that talks to you, they might not be into every girl that talks to them. Maybe they have a girlfriend — or a pole up their ass?

Either way, they’re probably bad news.

Don’t always wait for guys to come up to you first

When I think about the amount of missed interactions that happen at every bar because a girl is waiting for a guy to come up to her first, I get sad because I suddenly realize I’m envisioning myself.

We’re all guilty of it to some extent, but order a drink, down it, order another, and then march up to that guy you just whispered to your friend about. He’s probably already clocked you staring at him.

Master the art of the eye-fuck

If you’re nervous about just walking up to someone, try making eye-contact with them first. Don’t make it weird. Glance, and look away when they look back to you. Once this has happened two or three times, you can be sure, they’re interested as well.

Lastly, remember to enjoy it since we’re all gonna’ die anyway

If you seem all uptight and nervous about talking to every person who comes up to you, they’re going to have a hard time gauging what you’re actually like.

Breathe and remember the one golden rule: They probably aren’t good enough for you anyway.

@carolinephinney