For $400, you can purchase jeans that look like you fell into a pile of shit

Such a bargain, can’t afford not to buy it


Oh, Nordstrom. My sweet, innocent Nordstrom. First, it was selling a literal rock for $85. Now it's this.

For a mere $425, you can give the special man in your life the gift of a pair of "pre-distressed" jeans that look like he tripped and fell into a cartoonishly large pile of horse manure like a Disney villain.

Made by PRPS, the product description says the jeans "embody rugged, Americana workwear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty."

Down and dirty, huh? Like is that an innuendo? Because to me, down and dirty means like groping in a bar, not copulating in a mud puddle.

And really? $425? You didn't even have the decency to make it $420 so I could say "nice"?? Can't I have one thing?

I guess God really is dead because there's no way that He in His infinite wisdom would allow something this unholy to emerge from the shadows of some Project Runway reject's brain and into department store everywhere.

There's also a matching denim jacket! His-n-hers!