A real gentleman would buy you Plan B from this vending machine

A list of qualities my dream man possesses:

-Tall because men under 6'0" are just friends

-Kind to animals but especially cats

-Buys me Plan B because it's his sperm and I have bills to pay

Really, how many times have you been in this situation: something happens to render your chosen birth control ineffective (if you even used it — not that I've ever done this, of course) and you've gotta baby-block your womb ASAP. You set off for CVS, and get the pharmacist to unlock the Plan B from behind its bulletproof glass where it hangs next to the Sharpies and spray paint and bowie knives.

You stroll up the counter (or limp, depending on how good the aforementioned dick-down was) and he turns to you and says something about going in halfsies or Venmo-ing you later.

Because that has happened to me thrice!

Maybe it's the inaccessibility of Plan B, maybe it's the price, maybe they were just total shitbags. But that's all changing thanks to this revolutionary new vending machine that stocks the magic pill, coming (hopefully) to a college campus — and probably motel lobbies — near you.

Plan B is now stocked at the University of California Davis as part of a "Wellness To-Go" vending machine that also supplies students with condoms, tampons and pregnancy tests.

To call this an amazing breakthrough would be an understatement as accessibility to contraceptives — both emergency and traditional — does a ton for women's reproductive health and circumventing unplanned pregnancy especially considering the on-campus stock sells for around $10 less than drugstores. Duh. Why didn't we think of this before?

According to People, your go-to magazine for Speidi birth announcements and now feminist health advancements, reports that the machine's new stock is the result of a two-year lobby by former student senator Parteek Singh who is also super hot in addition to being an ally for sexually empowered women everywhere.

“The more skeptical and negativity I got from other people like, ‘Oh it’s not gonna happen,’ kind of pushed me more,” Singh told local news station KTXL. “I feel like every college should have this.”

And after it's in every college, put it in every apartment building. Especially ones in Manhattan. Especially ones in uptown Manhattan, maybe around 125th Street. Asking for a friend.